A Better Place
by AngelEyes213
Summary: There are hundreds and hundreds of quotes about how letting go is easy, or how the pain will fade over time. Don't let those quotes fool you - letting go is one of the hardest damn things to do. As for the pain, well...who knows if it will ever fade?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

There were boxes stacked on top of one another all around the new apartment. Brown boxes were sitting on the kitchen counter, the living room floor and spread around both my bedroom and my roommate, Christina's, bedroom.

Christina was sitting cross-legged on the living room floor, pulling movies out of one of the boxes and placing them on the shelves near the TV. "You would think that you'd want to get the kitchen and furniture set up before you put all your movies on the shelves…" I smirk at her and she just sticks her tongue out at me.

Our new apartment was in the heart of Chicago – close to both of our jobs and not far from either of our families. We both had just graduated from the University of Chicago and decided an apartment in the city was a no-brainer. We could have moved back home to live with our families, but we both loved living together – since we were roommates for four years straight in college and best friends since elementary school – that we decided to rent an apartment out. It was a nice sized apartment for the city. We had a large living room with a separate kitchen and we had two bedrooms, both of which had closets. They weren't huge closets, but it beat the few drawers we had in college.

Christina had managed to snag a job with one of the best party/wedding planners in the city and I was starting a job with the _Chicago Press_. I was excited to actually find a job where I will be able to write.

"What difference does it make?" Christina asks, standing up and heading towards the kitchen. "It's still going to take us forever to get this place unpacked."

Laughing, I follow her into the kitchen to start unpacking some of the boxes. We mainly have a bunch of kitchen appliances all of which are gifts from both my mother and Christina's mother. They both seemed more excited to shop for our apartment than Christina and I were.

The kitchen was relatively easy to unpack and once that was done, we moved onto the living room. I opened a handful of boxes that contained a bunch of throw pillows and some blankets while Christina unpacked pictures and other small decorations.

"Hey, Tris, look what I found." Christina dances over to where I'm standing and hands me a small picture frame. She's not smiling when she hands me the frame.

I take it from her and feel like I already know what the picture is before looking at it. I'm in the picture with my arms wrapped around a guy, much, much taller than me with a high and tight. Tobias Eaton, my freshmen year boyfriend.

Tobias was a senior when I was a freshmen and we met through mutual friends, well he was friends with Christina's boyfriend Will. Tobias was on the ice hockey team and I would go to all of his home games to support him and we were happy – our relationship made my first year of college even more perfect. And then two weeks before he graduated, he broke up with me. He was being scouted by some people for the national hockey league and he told me that he needed to focus on his career. It was a really shitty break-up and I eventually got over it, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't hurt.

I flip the picture frame upside down in my hands so I don't have to look at it anymore. "My Mom must have packed this away…" I mumble.

"Do you want to get rid of it?" Christina asks, looking at me like I'm going to break down.

I shake my head at her. "No, just…here." I take the picture out of the frame, handing her the empty picture frame and then I fold the picture so I'm only visible and then stuff the picture into one of the drawers next to our couch.

Christina was still staring at me and I didn't like it. "Okay, well, I have to run to work really quick to get a few things settled before my first day. I will be back in a few hours." I headed towards my bedroom and quickly tore through my boxes of clothes until I found a nice white blouse to wear and a pair of jeans. I wore some sandals and then grabbed my wallet.

My job wasn't that far from our apartment, which was one of the incentives to getting it. It was maybe a ten-minute walk and was on the main streets which made me feel more at ease.

The security guard asked me for the I.D. and then waved me on through to the elevators. I pressed the button for the fifteenth floor. Once I arrived on the floor, I was greeted by a short, baby-faced blonde girl named Jane. She was the receptionist and she told me that my boss was waiting for me. My boss, Max, was a middle-aged man, maybe somewhere in his late thirties and he didn't seem like the type of man who would be able to run a successful news outlet, but he was. He also wasn't too bad of a boss – at times he could be demanding and rude.

He greeted me by nodding his head at me when I entered his office. "Don't bother sitting, I have your first job. The Blackhawks are starting off season practices and we need someone to interview a few of the players and write a piece on them."

I wasn't someone who wrote sports articles. I didn't understand them. "Uhh, no offense, sir. But I don't know anything about them or sports…"

Max shakes his head and hands me a black notebook. "Don't worry about it, I already have questions written for you. You just have to go and ask them the questions. The players I want interviewed are written on the first page. The article should be finished and in my inbox by Friday at midnight."

Without another word, he dismissed me by waving his hand towards the door.

"Fantastic." I grumble to myself. My first assignment at my first real job and it was on something I didn't understand and I was going to completely and totally screw it up.

Without looking at the questions, I head back home. Once back at the apartment, I'm surprised to see that Christina finished unpacking the rest of the boxes.

She prances into the living room from her bedroom, a giant smile on her face. "The only boxes left are in your room. I didn't want to touch them in case you didn't approve of where I put everything away." She grins at me and I roll my eyes. "So how did it go at your job?"

I sigh, sitting down on the couch. "I got my first article assignment and it's on hockey."

Christina gives me a look. "Hockey? I may not be an expert on everything 'Beatrice Prior' but I know for a fact that you do not watch hockey – well, except for in college…" Her voice trails off and she shrugs.

"Yeah, well, Max wants me to interview a handful of players from the Blackhawks." I toss her the book and she opens to the first page.

She scans through her name and I see her face drop. "Uhh, Tris? Did you read through the list of players?"

I shake my head and look at her. "No, why?" She hands me the book back and I take it from her, scanning the list of about eight players: Patrick Kane, Corey Crawford, Johnathon Toews, Marian Hossa, Andrew Shaw, Duncan Keith, and Tobias Eaton. _Tobias Eaton_. "Are you kidding me?!" I screech, standing up. "No! No, this is not happening! I'm not doing this!"

"Tris, I know you really don't want to see him, but it's your job. You need to do this. Ask your questions and then leave. Don't talk to him about anything other than the questions you have to ask him for your article. If he starts to go off topic, steer him back into the right lane."

Christina sounds reasonable and she's right…I can't just ignore this article. It's necessary for my job. I don't want to lose my job.

So the following day I make myself look decent. I don't want Tobias to think that I'm trying to look good for him, but I'm expected to look "business casual". I'm wearing a pair of jeans, a clean black t-shirt and black flats. I fun a brush through my hair and keep it down, not bothering to do anything with it.

Once I'm at the ice rink, I head towards the locker room and meet with a handful of guys who I am assuming to be some of the players. I introduce myself and then follow the first guy – Corey Crawford – into the locker room. The room's been modified to look more like a professional locker room. The Chicago Blackhawks' symbol is on the floor in the center of the room and there are multiple flags baring the symbol hanging along the open wall space. There are two chairs facing each other and both Corey and I take a seat in each one.

I read off each question and most of them answer in a surprisingly professional manner. Then again, they're probably more used to this than I am. They're constantly being interviewed by news stations before and after games. They should be good at it.

But the entire time, my stomach twists with anxiety knowing that Tobias was probably standing outside the locker room door waiting. I kept putting off his interview because I knew I would be in a terrible mood after talking to him and taking it out on the other players wouldn't be too good of a thing. But soon enough, I'm out of players that Max wanted me to interview – all except for one.

The locker room door opens and Tobias walks in. I instantly stiffen in my seat, waiting for him to notice me.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a planning problem." He apologizes, taking a seat in front of me. When he looks at me, he freezes in his seat, his eyes going slightly wider. After the initial shock wears off about fifteen seconds later, a smirk starts to spread on his lip. "This is such a shocking coincidence." He laughs, that damn smirk still on his face. The smirk that used to make me smile at him and get butterflies in my stomach.

I fix him a confused look. "I'm sorry, have we met before?" I ask, my tone laced with sarcasm. He fakes a pout.

"Oh, c'mon, Tris. You could never forget me."

Rolling my eyes, I cross one leg over the other, placing the notebook on my thigh. "Yeah, well, I've been trying hard to."

He tilts his head to the side and narrows his eyes. "Did you take this job because you knew you'd be able to see me?"

Groaning, I say, "Of course you would think I would do this for you! Still so egotistical. I took this job because I love it and I wanted to avoid this interview at all costs. Except I need to do the interview if I want to keep the job I love so much."

I shake my head and then look down at my notebook. I start to repeat the same questions that I asked his teammates and am pleasantly surprised to find that he snapped into interview mode and answered each and every question respectfully and didn't antagonize me during the process. It was actually quite amazing for him.

When I'm finally done asking him the necessary questions, I close the notebook and look at him. "Thank you for your time." I say and stand up. He follows suit.

"Let me take you to dinner." He says suddenly and look at him, appalled.

I cross my arms over my chest. "Why should I? You left me."

He nods. "I know and I was a total dick about it. But let me take you to dinner and just…catch up. It doesn't have to be anything romantic – just two old friends catching up again."

"No." I turn on my heels and head out of the locker room. Some of the players are skating around on the ice with a decent sized crowd sitting in the bleachers to watch them practice.

Tobias jogs up to me and keeps pace. "C'mon, please?"

I come to a sudden stop and Tobias stops next to me. "Why? So that you can drag me along again? Oh! Or maybe this time, you'll just stand me up and get it over with sooner!"

He sighs, running his long fingers through his already tousled bronze hair. "I'm not like that anymore, Tris, I promise. I've had time to grow up and realize how shitty I was. Just let me take you to dinner and make it up to you."

I had to admit, seeing him begging did kind of give me a fierce satisfaction that I loved. However, I managed to keep that hidden from my face, and instead just continued to glare at him. "If you want to take me to dinner, you're going to have to prove that you've changed. And since you're leaving tomorrow, I don't think that'll be possible. So it's been nice seeing you again and I wish you luck with whatever it is you do."

I'm still incredibly frustrated by the time I get back to the apartment, where Christina is sitting on the floor with a bunch of Chinese take-out containers spread out on the coffee table in front of her. She looks up at me when I slam the front door shut and her smile disappears from her face. "Oh God, was it really that bad?" She asks and I just give her a look.

Heading for the kitchen, I grab a Stella Artois from the fridge and then sit down on the floor on the opposite side of where Christina is, reaching for the first container in front of me. "It was terrible. All of the other players were amazing. They were respectful, well-spoken and were polite. Tobias showed up ten minutes late to the interview and spent the first five minutes trying to talk to me, ignoring every question I asked him." I take an angry bite out of an egg roll and then sigh. "His actual interview was great, which killed me. It would be easier to be completely pissed at him if he was a shitty person to interview, but just like his teammates he was well spoken and eloquent."

Christina, listening to my ranting while also eating her vegetable lo mien, finally speaks up. "What happened after the interview ended? Did he pull anything?"

Taking a sip of my drink, I nod. "Yeah, he did. He had the audacity to ask me on a date – and then he tried to say it wasn't a date but just dinner between two old friends. And then I told him that would never happen unless he could prove to me that he changed and since he's leaving tonight," I shrugged, unbothered "sucks for him."

"What's the worst that could come from one meal together?" Christina asks quietly, almost too quiet for me to hear. I glare at her as she takes a sip of her beer. "What? Okay, look. I know that he's a jackass for what he pulled back in college, but that was years ago. If he wants to make it up to you, you should let him. You can always leave the dinner early if you can't deal with him or if he says something stupid."

"Yeah, well, that's inevitable." I grumble and Christina just shakes her head.

Rolling her eyes, she looks at me. "I talked to Will while you were out. He said that Tobias called him and wanted to meet up tomorrow for lunch so I'm guessing he's going to be staying in the city for a little bit longer." She had an almost guilty expression on her face. Guilty for holding this important information from me.

"Great, so I can avoid him tomorrow!"

She sighs, placing her chopsticks down on the coffee table. "Tris, it won't hurt to go to dinner with him once."

I narrow my eyes at her. "Why are you so defensive? Why are you trying to talk this dinner up so much?"

Christina shrugs. "I don't know, just…you haven't really dated that much lately and I feel like this would be a good thing for you. Even if he is still a jerk you'll get a free dinner out of it." I shake my head. "Okay, Will also told me that Tobias had talked to him after seeing you and he said that he felt really bad for leaving things the way he had."

Oh, great. It was what I wanted to hear but not from the person I wanted to hear it from. This was so screwed up – Tobias should be the one apologizing to me and telling me what Christina is telling me, not Christina.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

My first week of work went by quickly and smoothly, even after having to endure that interview. I had the article typed up and ready to be sent by Thursday night and had earned an early weekend from Max.

Christina hadn't been pushing me for the dinner date with Tobias for the past few days, which was both odd and a relief. I don't know if she hadn't been pushing it because of how busy we both were at work or because she thought that I would eventually give in and go out with him for a night.

I never asked.

That Friday, while Christina was at work, I sent in my article first thing in the morning and then decided to spend the day cleaning the apartment. It wasn't like it was that dirty, not after only living in it for a week, but it gave me something to do for a good majority of the day while I waited for Christina to come home.

Around four-thirty, Christina came home from work and looked excited. "Get dressed." She ordered me, still smiling excitedly.

"Why? What are we doing?" I asked.

She tosses her purse onto the couch and starts walking towards her bedroom. "Well, we're going to meet up with Will and then we're going to go out – celebrate making it through our first week of work without killing ourselves."

I roll my eyes at her as she closes her door to change. I disappear into my bedroom and grab a pair of dark jeans, black ballet flats and a blue top. It only took me about five minutes to get dressed and ready and by the time I was finished, Christina was waiting for me in the living room, sitting on the arm of the couch. "Ready to go?"

Shrugging, I grab my house keys. "I guess?"

Christina hails a cab and she gives the cab driver an address. It sounds familiar but I can't place how I know it until we get close to the building.

"No." I say, shaking my head. "Why the hell are we here?" The driver stopped in front of Johnny's Ice House. This was the Blackhawks' practice facility. Why didn't I see this coming? Why did I think Christina was going to let me off easy?

She handed the driver money and climbed out, forcing me to follow her. "We're just here to meet up with Will. He was here to watch the Hawks practice and hang out with Tobias for a bit." She continued heading inside, assuming I'd follow. "Tobias and Will are friends, he wasn't going to stop being his friend because you two broke up." Ouch.

Feeling guilty, I follow her into the facility and through the decent-sized crowd gathered around the rink. I recognize only the players that I had interviewed earlier this week and Tobias.

Christina finds Will and pulls me after her to where he's standing. When we reach him, she stands on her tip-toes and gives him a kiss. When he sees me, he gives me his devil-may-care smile. "Hey, Tris. Surprised to see you here."

"Yeah, well…I'm surprised I'm here." He looks confused and glances at Christina when he sees me glaring at her. But he just shakes his head and beckons us to follow him. He pushes opened a door and we head up a flight of steps to a room that overlooks the ice and the crowd below us. It's a lot quieter and less crowded in here.

I stand in front of the glass window and watch the players skating up and down the length of the rink, some of them stopping to shoot a puck. My sight lingers on Tobias's figure and I watch him skate around, forgetting how graceful he seemed on the ice – even with how bulky he was. He scooped up a puck and started bouncing it on the blade of his stick. I found myself smiling, remembering him trying to perfect that same move back in college. He would spend hours outside of his dorm, trying to count how many times he could toss the puck into the air and catch it on the blade of the stick.

One of the other players, Kane, skated up and threw his body into Tobias's, knocking the puck onto the ice.

The action scared me for a second and then I saw Tobias laughing.

"…he's just got to clean up and then he'll meet us at the bar." I heard Will explaining something to Christina, just catching the tail end of the conversation.

Crossing my arms over my chest, I ask, "Who's meeting us?" When I see Christina trying to avoid eye contact, it clicked. How, _how_ , did she keep managing to catch me off guard? "Of course." I shake my head and turn back around, frustrated.

The members are starting to clear the ice and a lot of the people are trying to get some of them to stop for pictures or autographs.

Once the crowd starts to disappear, the three of us head back downstairs and outside to a waiting cab.

We head to a bar that's not too far down the road from the training facility. It's a nicer bar than I've been to in the past. It looked like a bar you'd expect to see professional athletes to make an appearance at.

Fantastic.

Will leads us to a booth in the back where I see two familiar faces. "Marlene? Uriah?" They both smile at me and Marlene gets up, hugging me. "I haven't seen you in forever!"

I take a seat next to her and we start talking, after ordering some drinks. She tells me everything that she's been up to since the last time we saw each other; where she's been, where she's working. I forget about my earlier complaints about Tobias and just enjoyed spending time with my friends.

Until I heard Uriah shout Tobias's name over the crowd. He shot up from his seat on the opposite bench of myself and Marlene and gave Tobias a one armed hug, slapping his back. "Nice to see you, man! I can't believe you're playing for the Blackhawks! You got to score me some tickets for the box suites."

Tobias laughed and returned the hug. "Of course. In fact, I've already taken the liberty of requesting a box be reserved for you guys." He looks around at our small group, eyes lingering on me for a few seconds longer than necessary.

A few people surrounding our group recognize Tobias and strike up conversations with him. I'm amazed at how many people seem to know who he is.

Uriah must have seen the shock on my face because he kneels down near me, so that I can hear him, "He had a huge impact on the team and has been a surprisingly good rookie. He's beaten more team records than they can keep count."

I nod, barely understanding. I excused myself from the group and headed towards the bar, taking a seat on a stool. I ordered a beer and listened to some of the conversations going on around me, slightly amused by some of the drunken discussions.

"You know," someone sits down next to me. Someone with a familiarly annoying voice. "if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to avoid me."

Glancing up at the bartender, I ask, "Do you have anything stronger than beer?" He laughs once and pours me a shot. "There's no 'trying' about it." I tip my head back, downing the shot.

Tobias smacks his hand over his heart, faking hurt. "Ouch, that's cold Tris."

"What do you want, Tobias?" I sound more exhausted than I do annoyed.

He leans forward on the bar, resting on his arms and looks at me. "I want to properly apologize for the shitty way I acted back in college. You didn't deserve it."

Turning to look at him, I rest my chin on the palm of my hand. "Have you ever heard the term 'actions speak louder than words'?" When he nods, I continue. "Well, you should know that I take that term seriously."

Sighing, he orders a beer from the bartender and I ask for another drink, too. After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks up.

"You know, when I first practiced with the Blackhawks, I was absolutely terrified. I was terrified that I wasn't as good as they thought I was and I thought that they would fire me right then and there." He laughs a humorless laugh, shaking his head. "None of the guys talked to me and I thought it was because they hated me and the only person I wanted to talk to after a really shitty day was you. I wanted to call you and hear your voice. I wanted to hear you tell me that I was being stupid." From the corner of my eye, I see him look at me but I just stare at my beer, pretending to read the label. "It took me two years to realize how fucking stupid I had been. I was so focused on my future career that I didn't realize that I needed you."

My stomach twisted and my chest felt tight – was it out of guilt for being so rude to him or was it because I was actually feeling bad for him?

I downed the rest of my beer and ran my hands down my face, frustrated. "What do you want me to do? Forgive you for realizing you screwed up?" I turn on the stool to look at him. "You left me, Tobias. You hurt me. You could have called me or tried talking to me. You didn't have to wait three and a half years to apologize!"

I jump down off the stool and turn to leave, but I'm stopped by Tobias grabbing my wrist. He drops off his stool and stands in front of me. "Just…tell me what you want me to do. I will do anything for you to forgive me."

And then suddenly there's a group of four men shoving in between Tobias and myself. "Yo! You're that new rookie for the Blackhawks, aren't you?" One of them asks. "Dude, you're amazing! Can I get a picture?"

Shaking my head, I push through the crowd to where Christina is and tell her I'm heading home – I'm starting to feel a migraine coming on. She doesn't seem to buy it, but lets me go anyways. I hug everyone goodbye and promise Marlene to call her soon.

Once I'm outside, I lean against the wall to the side of the entrance, enjoying the breeze. It was slightly sticky out, an unfortunate combination of the earlier rain storm and humidity.

"Tris!" I jump at the sound of my name and turn to see Tobias jogging out of the bar. I groan and lean back against the wall. "Tris." He sounds relieved and walks over to where I'm standing. "Please, talk to me."

I cross my arms over my chest and shake my head, feeling the burn that's a tell-tale sign of tears. "Go back in, your fans are probably wondering where you are."

"I don't care about them! I want you to talk to me!" He steps closer to me and I see that his earlier confidence and arrogance are gone, replaced by guilt and a little irritation.

"You're infuriating." I murmur, looking up at him. "You come back into my life, after I get my life together and am happy, and now I'm just…confused. I'm so confused about you and about us and about myself! I want to hate you for how you left me, I really wanted to hate you. But I couldn't – I can't. I still have feelings for you and it's killing me." He looks surprisingly shocked and I'm a little shocked myself. I didn't really plan on admitting that to him. I didn't want to admit it to myself. "You're infuriating." I murmur again, wiping my eyes.

"I'm sorry…" He apologizes, stepping closer to me. He brushes his thumb across my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. "I'm sorry." His touch sends an electric shock through me and I look up at him.

His hand moves away from my cheek to push my hair behind my ear. I should stop him. I should tell him to leave me alone, remind him that he hurt me. But, _oh my God he was so close_. I could smell the mixture of mint from his toothpaste and the woody notes in his cologne. The tip of his nose brushed the tip of mine and I could hear my own breathing and felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest. My hands unconsciously twisted themselves in his dark blue t-shirt, pulling him closer.

He crushes his lips against mine and I forget everything. I forget why I'm angry at him, I forget why we ever broke up. I forget where I am and what time it is. All that matters is him.

"Come back to my place with me…" He breathes, breaking the kiss. Normally I would contemplate whether or not to go back with him or not, but my want is too strong to argue with rationality.

I let him walk me towards a car that pulls up to the curb, sliding in the back when he opens the door for me.

* * *

"God, I cannot believe you actually went back to his apartment with him!" Christina is in the shower the following afternoon, and I'm sitting on top of the toilet – lid closed, obviously – with my feet crossed pretzel style. "After all the complaining, you went back to his apartment and had sex!" She laughs and I groan, rubbing my face.

"I wasn't thinking rationally – I was drinking."

The shower shuts off and she sticks her hand out to me, waiting for a towel. I had her one and when she opens the curtain, she's shaking her head. "You can't blame the alcohol. You are not a lightweight. And besides, I saw how much you drank – you barely had enough to get a buzz."

I shrug and she narrows her eyes, smiling. "Was it hate sex?" I shake my head. "Getting back together sex?"

Laughing, I stand up. "Definitely not. There's no getting back together. We just…got lost in the moment and went back to his place and then I snuck out early this morning before he woke up."

"So you two won't…?"

I scoff, heading towards my bedroom. "Definitely not. I'm not even going to talk to him again." Before I close my door, I see Christina smiling, a knowing gleam in her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The Blackhawks' home opener was the third week of September and Christina was going with Will. And since she was going, I was being dragged along. Although, at this point, she didn't have to beg me to show up as much as she used to. I was happy to go and watch the games, to support Tobias. I wasn't angry with him anymore and we were friends. It was okay to support friends.

And besides, the games were actually really fun. Even up in the suite the games were entertaining to watch, the fun made better by the free beer.

Besides Christina, Will and myself, there were also a handful of other friends with us – Marlene and Uriah among them. We had a box right next to a handful of the team's wives and girlfriends. It was easy to tell them apart from just the normal crowd because pretty much every woman had perfect hair and makeup along with fitted jerseys bearing the names of their significant others.

The home opener was being played against the Colorado Avalanche and the only thing that I knew about the team, according to Uriah and Will, was that they weren't as good as the Blackhawks were.

Surprisingly, I followed along with the game easily. I was still confused about a handful of the calls the referees made, but otherwise, I could focus on the game. And whenever Tobias was on the ice, I focused on him and watched how he skated, surprised at how tactful he was. I was amazed when he ran into an opposing player, knocking the guy down. There were a few outraged cries from the Avalanche fans down below our box and I suddenly felt like throwing an empty beer can at them.

Apparently a few of the team members didn't approve of Tobias's hit because the next time he was on the ice, one of the bigger Avalanche players checked him into the boards and he fell. The crowd booed the guy and I grabbed Christina's hand tightly.

He got up quickly and I could breathe again. I let go of Christina's hand and grabbed another drink and a soft pretzel.

The rest of the game progressed the same, the Hawks scoring five goals by the end of the third period. After the final horn – the Hawks winning the game – the crowd started to clear out. Our own crowd took their time in leaving. It wasn't until the stadium below is was mostly empty that we finally left.

Marlene and Uriah were heading home, so I gave each of them a hug and then Christina, Will and I headed downstairs to the area outside of the locker rooms.

Some of the women I saw earlier in the box next to us were waiting outside of the locker rooms, chatting and laughing. Everyone around us was in high spirits after the win.

The team started to empty out of the locker room and Tobias followed behind Toews and Kane, talking to Corey Crawford. He was wearing a dark blue suit, the white shirt untucked and his matching blue tie loosened around his neck.

When he spotted us, he patted his teammate on the back and then headed over to where the three of us were standing. "How'd you like the game?" He asks, all smiles.

Will started to chat his ear off about the plays during the game and how amazing the team had developed since the past year. "And that hit against the one Avalanche player!" Will exclaimed, shaking his head.

Christina nudged Will's hip with her own. "Are you done swooning now? I need to get to bed – I have work in the morning." Will gave Tobias a pat on the shoulder and then gripped Christina's hand. "Tris?" She asks, looking at me. "Are you coming?"

I glanced over at Tobias and then back to Christina. "Uhh, actually, I promised Tobias I would grab some food with him."

She smirks and then heads out with Will, towards the parking lot.

"Remind me when you promised to get food with me." Tobias says, a playful smile on his face. I shove his shoulder and he laughs. "Alright, fine. But I get to choose where we eat."

I followed him to the parking lot and towards a black BMW. I raised an eyebrow at the car and Tobias shrugged. "It's a rental. I need a car to get around while in the city." I climb into the passenger seat and he takes the driver's seat. The BMW is brand new – probably a model from this year.

For dinner, Tobias stopped in front of a small Thai restaurant and told me to wait in the car. He comes back out fifteen minutes later with a bag filled with multiple take-out boxes. I took it from his hand and then we continued on back to his apartment.

Tobias's apartment was very…lavish. It was also very open, too. The windows were ceiling to floor in the main room. It was a very open floorplan – the living room connected to the dining room and kitchen. The only thing separating the kitchen and the rest of the space was an island counter. There were three doors to the right of the television in the living room – two were to bedrooms and one was to a bathroom.

There weren't many personal items in the apartment, just a few pictures of him and his friends sitting on a small table by the front door. The last time I was in here, I wasn't really paying too much attention to what his place looked like – we mainly focused on getting to his bedroom.

I walked over to the windows while Tobias changed into more comfortable clothes and grabbed some forks and knives along with some beer. The view of the city was breathtaking, even more so with all of the lights. I could also see part of the shiny mental bean, just a sliver of it, poking out from the side of a building. This was a view that I had always wanted, always dreamed of but knew I would never be able to afford.

"Tris?" I turn around to see Tobias setting the food and drinks down on the table. "Are you okay?"

I nod, giving him a reassuring smile. "Yeah, just…the view is beautiful." I walk over to the couch and sit down, accepting a takeout container from him and a fork.

Tobias scarfs the food down like he hasn't eaten in weeks and I'm amazed that he doesn't get sick.

After we're done eating, I help Tobias clean up and then we sit down on the couch with our drinks. For the first time I notice that he's wearing a University of Chicago hockey team t-shirt and I smile. "Nice shirt."

He looks down and then laughs. "Gee, thanks." Looking back up at me, he sets his beer on the coffee table. "Do you remember when I tried to teach you how to ice skate? How terrible you were at it?"

Embarrassed, I roll my eyes. "I wasn't terrible! I wasn't great, but I was able to skate without holding onto the boards. So that's something." We both laugh at the fond memory. "And I'll have you know that I have gotten much better in the last few years."

"Really?" He asks, eyebrows raised in surprise. I nod and he still looks like he doesn't believe me. "We'll have to test that theory out."

My phone dings with a text message and I look at me phone. "It's Christina." I sigh. She's wondering if I'm going to be coming home anytime soon. I glance at the time and realize it's half past midnight. "It's getting late; I should probably go."

As I was standing up, Tobias grabs my wrist to stop me. "You can stay." He stands up off the couch, looking upset. He releases his hold on my wrist to twist his fingers through mine. "Please."

Once again I find myself distracted by his proximity to me, by his touch. The first time was the last time. I've told myself that over and over again since it happened. But right now, the way he was looking at me and the feel of him being close to me, I didn't care what I told myself. What was it about him that made me want to lose complete control? What was it about him that made me feel like I was going to melt every time he looked at me?

And then my mouth is against his and his hands tangle themselves in my hair, bowing my body against his. My body ignites with his kiss and his touch and I gripping the bottom of his shirt, trying to yank it off.

I feel him smile against my lips and then he breaks the kiss to help me get his shirt off. His bends his knees, his hands resting against the backs of my thighs, and lifts me up like I weight nothing. I keep my arms wrapped tightly around him and my legs locked around his waist as he carries me to his bedroom. The next thing I know, I feel the comforter pressed against my back and Tobias is hovering over top of me. His lips travel from my lips, down my neck and to my collarbone. His lips brush lightly over the three black birds tattooed and then he moves back to my lips. He peels my shirt off and I lose myself completely, all thoughts and all feelings, in him.

The following morning, I'm woken up by the sound of a cell phone going off. Tobias shifts in his sleep and I try to reach my phone without waking him – which is difficult with his arms wrapped securely around my waist. The ringing stops and I freeze, staring at it on the bedside table. It goes off again.

"Ignore it." Tobias mumbles into my neck and I can't help but squirm, his morning stubble tickling my neck. I can tell that he's smiling and he presses his lips right under my ear. The phone is still ringing. "Don't answer it."

He shifts so that he's hovering over top of me and I'm pinned underneath him. "Tobias, stop!" I giggle when he leans down to kiss my neck. "It might be work!" He groans, but doesn't argue, rolling onto his side and letting go of me. I grab my phone, pressing it to me ear. "Hello?" I reach towards the edge of the bed and grab Tobias's t-shirt, slipping it on along with my underwear.

"Tris!" Christina exhales in relief. "Okay, so you're not dead."

I leave the bedroom and head back into the main room. "No, I am not dead. I told you last night I wouldn't be home."

She sighs and I hear honking on her end of the line. She's probably on her way to work. "I am aware of that. You texted me saying you wouldn't be home in the morning – but it's almost two in the afternoon and I hadn't heard from you so I panicked."

Shit. I glance at the time on my phone and suddenly feel terrible. "That's my fault. I didn't plan on sleeping in this late."

"Forgot to set an alarm to sneak out again?" I could just hear the smile in her voice. "You slept with him again, didn't you?"

I run my hand through my messy hair, annoyed. "Maybe. But don't get any ideas – it doesn't mean anything."

She laughs and I hear a muffled apologize from her end. "Say whatever you want, but I know you. You still like him. I saw it last night at the game. You panicked whenever he got hit and when we met up with him afterwards, it was written all over your face."

"Goodbye Christina." She laughs, says goodbye and then hangs up. I turn back around and Tobias is stepping into the room wearing nothing but pajama bottoms.

"Everything good?" He asks and I nod, tearing my eyes away from his bare chest. "I have to go in for practice in a little bit, but you can stay here if you want."

I start to shake my head and Tobias walks towards me. "Tobias, I don't think…"

He holds up his hands in a pleading way, "Tris, just…please. Look, I really care about you. A lot. And I really don't want this," he gestures in between us, "to be a fling. I understand if you want to take it slow, but please…just think about it. Please."

My stomach twists and I hug myself tightly. "I really care about you, too. But I don't know, Tobias."

"Just think about it. Please?" He begs.

Finally, I agree and then I tell him I need to head home. I head back into the bedroom and quickly change back into my clothes from last night and on my way out, Tobias gives my hand a tight squeeze, his eyes wide and pleading.

Christina was out when I got home, leaving me to spend a few hours alone and think.

I took a long shower, taking my time in washing my hair and body, my mind elsewhere. Once I was out of the shower, I changed into a pair of black shorts and a white t-shirt, twisting my hair into a bun. I vegged out on the sofa, flipping through the channels until finding some trashy reality show.

Reaching into the table next to where I'm sitting, I grab the picture I folded up when Christina and I had first moved in. Unfolding it, I try my best to smooth it out.

The picture is of me and Tobias, back during my first year of college, his arm wrapped around my waist and a huge smile plastered on my face. The picture was taken at Millennium Park at night, standing in front of the giant reflective bean, after a double date with Christina and Will – you can barely make out their reflections in the bean. It was a happy time – a really, really happy time and thinking about it now made me smile.

My resentment towards Tobias for what he did back then had slowly ebbed away. Yeah, I still had moments where I wish none of it had happened – but it did and I can actually forgive him for it. After reconnecting and letting him explain things through, I decided that I was going to be mature about it and forgive him.

Clearly I forgave him.

While the two nights that we spent together were great, I still didn't know how I felt about an actual relationship with him. I had feelings for him, that much was clear, but it was those same feelings that had gotten me screwed over back in college and my mind was warning me to be careful.

But he had so obviously changed. The Tobias that I knew back in college was not the same one I was hooking up with. The old Tobias cared more about himself and his appearance than he did for anyone else. He was closed off and had built walls around himself. This new Tobias was more open and we had talked about things last night that he never would have told me back in college. He still cared about his career but it was clear that he cared about his friends, and even me, more so. It was the polar opposite of his attitude and personality in college.

I knew he was currently at practice and wouldn't be done for a good few hours, but I still decided to send him a text.

 _I'm not promising you anything, but I will go out on a date with you. A real date. Where you actually have to wear something more than a t-shirt and sweatpants. And then we'll go from there._


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Truthfully, I had never pictured myself going on a date again with Tobias after college. I had believed that our one year of dating was the beginning and end of our story. I knew our paths would cross again at some point, I'd be lying if I said otherwise. We had too many friends in common for us not to see each other again after college. But I had always told myself that after freshmen year, I was done with him.

But here I was, on a Friday night getting ready to go on a date with him. Christina was sitting in the middle of my bed, cross-legged and scrutinizing my outfit choice. "Switch your blue jeans for black jeans." She suggests.

"Shoes?" I ask, tugging off my jeans and reaching for the black ones next to her on the bed.

She shifts so she can get a better look at my tiny closet and then points. "Red flats." Once I have on my jeans and slide my feet into the flats, she takes a final look at my outfit. "I still can't believe you won't change out of that white blouse. You'd look so much cuter in something blue. Or pink."

I narrow my eyes at her. "You will never get me into anything pink. Ever."

Her eyes flash mischievously and I know I just presented her with a challenge, but I'm spared from her poking more at my sense of style by a knock at the door. She flies off the bed and into the apartment to open it while I quickly run a brush through my hair and then apply a meager coat of mascara.

Tobias and Christina are standing in front of the door, chatting, both of them looking up when I approach. Tobias is wearing a pair of dark jeans with a dark red button up, the sleeves bunched up to his elbows. He looked really good.

Fifteen minutes after we leave the apartment, we pull into a parking lot next to a small tavern. "Seriously?" I ask, looking at him. "You want to go to a tavern?" He laughs, climbing out of the car and then making his way over to my side to open the door. "No fancy restaurant? The ones with multiple forks and spoons?"

He shakes his head and walks close to my side. "I never actually go to those places, unless it's a dinner with the team. Not a huge fan of the small portions and fancy food."

The inside of the tavern looked a lot nicer than the outside. It was clean with pictures of sports teams from back in the day and brands of beers from way back when. There were tall booths set up around the tavern with a large billiards table in the middle.

The hostess greeted us with a smile and then led us to a booth near the windows. We ordered our drinks and then we both ended up ordering burgers.

"So have you improved at pool at all?" He asks me, smirking, after we're done our food.

I quirk an eyebrow at him. "You've got it all mixed up – you were the one who was terrible at pool. It was one of the few things that I could kick your ass at."

Tobias laughs, looking ready for a challenge. "Want to bet?" He nods towards the pool table.

Normally, I would turn him down because he is beyond competitive, but right now? Right now I so wanted to kick his ass at pool. "I'm game."

We stand up, heading to the pool table. Tobias grabs two cues from the wall and hands me the smaller one. He takes the first shot and doesn't make a shot. "Ooh, too bad." I fake-pout, moving to line up with the white ball. I successfully pocket the solid blue ball.

"Lucky shot." He grumbles, moving around me.

"You wish." I laugh. My laugh quiets when he pockets one of his stripes in the corner. He winks at me and I roll my eyes. When I move past him, his fingers brush against my arm and I get goosebumps.

The rest of the game continues as we both manage to keep the score even, until the only ball remaining is the eight ball. It takes a few tries, but eventually he manages to pocket it and ends the game. I place my cue on the table and lean against it, frustrated. I cross my arms over my chest and feel silly for being so hurt over losing, but I had always been good at pool whenever playing against him. Maybe he wasn't the only competitive one.

"Aww, don't look so sad. There aren't many people who could keep up with me during that game." He steps in front of me, placing his hands on my hips.

I roll my eyes. "You just got lucky."

He nods and shrugs once. "Maybe I did. But I still won and I would like to claim my prize."

Fixing him a skeptical look, I say, "I don't remember placing any bets…"

"It was a competition. Normally after competitions, the winner gets a prize."

I tilt my head slightly to the side and narrow my eyes. "And what kind of prize do you think you're getting?"

A knowing smile spreads across his face and he leans past me, placing his pool cue on the table and then places his hands on the table on either side of me, trapping me. He leans closer and I bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from smiling. His nose brushes against my cheek when he leans close enough and says, "Ice cream."

He laughs as I shove him away, no longer able to contain my smile.

"Ready to go?" He asks, holding out his hand. I nod and take it, letting him twist his fingers through mine. When we get to his car, he opens the passenger side door for me and then shuts it.

When we get back to my apartment, Tobias jumps out of the car and runs to open my door for me. "Such a gentleman." I smirk, getting out.

"I gotta be if I'm going to impress you." He winks at me, shutting the car door behind me. He places his hands on my hips and steps closer to me. "Are you sure you don't want to spend the night at my apartment?"

Shaking my head, I tap his shoulder a few times. "Some of us have real jobs to get to in the morning."

"Hey! It's my one day off this week before back-to-back games. If I wanted to spend it with you, you should feel honored." I ignore the terrible joke and just blink, fighting a smile. "Well if you're not going to spend the night, the least you could do is give me a goodnight kiss."

Resting my hands on his arms, I glance at his eyes – deep pools of dark blue water – and feel an electric pulse running through my body. I lean up on my tip-toes and press my lips to his. "Goodnight." I say after finally managing to pull away from him.

I head inside before he can try and convince me to go back home with him or before I beg him to stay with me.

Christina's awake and lounging on the couch, curled up underneath a blanket with a knowing smile covering her face. I lean against the front door, not able to hide my smile. "I was going to say the date went well, but you came home."

I roll my eyes and move to sit at her feet on the couch. She sits up, pulling her legs under her, keeping the blanket on her lap. "It did go well, really well. But I don't spend the night after the first date."

"But any other night…?" She raises her eyebrows quizzically.

Laughing, I run my fingers through my hair. "He knows that I want to take things kind of slow and he's surprisingly not pushing the boundaries." Shrugging, I lean back against the arm of the couch. "He's proven to me that he has changed."

"I told you one date wouldn't hurt." She jokes and I kick her shin playfully.

"But in all seriousness, Chris, I am actually glad that you talked me into seeing him again." She smiles a wide smile, proud of herself no doubt. "I actually had fun with him tonight."

She leans forward, eyes wide with curiosity. "Where did you go? What did you do?" The questions were endless with her and we spent a good few hours talking. Thankfully, the entire time we talked it wasn't all about Tobias, but a good portion of it was. I tried to change the subject on her a few times, bringing up Will and asking how they were doing and what Will's plans for a career were, surprised to hear that he planned on joining the Army Reserves. She didn't seem too happy with him joining the military, but she was still so proud of him for willingly putting himself on the line.

And then she takes me by surprise by saying, "We talked about marriage." She bites her bottom lip nervously and it was a surprising thing to see her worried. When I asked her what she meant by that, she said that when he brought up joining the military, he said that if they were married and he was stationed somewhere besides Illinois then she would automatically be allowed to follow him and they would have a house on base. Will didn't want to leave her.

Around midnight, we decided to call it a night, both of us having to get up early for work tomorrow. Christina was dealing with one of her own clients and I had to run into work to get a few things done for Max.

The following morning, I was up and ready to head to work by eight, right as Christina was getting in the shower. I wished her luck and then headed out the door.

The day dragged on since I didn't have much to look forward to tonight. Tobias was currently in New Jersey for a game tonight against the Devils and wouldn't be home until later tonight. He would occasionally text me throughout the morning, up until he told me he had to go – to get dressed for the game. I wished him luck and promised that I would be waiting for him to get back.

I would've made plans with Christina for the night, but she didn't know how long she would be with her client and she had also promised Will that tonight would be a date night for them.

So I was left alone after work, all by myself. I took the free time to clean around the apartment - sweeping the floors, dusting, wiping the counters down in the kitchen and then cleaning the stove. But even after cleaning the whole apartment, it wasn't even dinner time by the time I had finished.

Around six, after I had showered and dressed in a pair of black leggings, white tank top and a red flannel, I headed out the door. I headed down the street to a small café, ordering myself a burger to go. Tobias texted me while I waited for the food, letting me know he was on his way back to Chicago and would let me know when he lands.

I headed to his apartment, after paying for my meal, and let myself in. I made myself comfortable on the couch, turning on the annoyingly large flat screen TV and flipping through the channels before starting in on my dinner.

I don't know what time I fall asleep – sometime in the middle of _Jurassic Park –_ but I'm soon woken up by the sound of the front door opening and am surprised to realize I'm sitting in complete darkness. The lights switch on and Tobias is shutting the door.

He drops a black backpack on the floor and smiles. "Hey."

"How did the game go?" I ask him, watching as he makes his way towards the couch. He plops down next to me and pulls me against his side. "Did you win?"

Yawning, he nods. "We won three to two. I got boarded a few times and my shoulder hurts, but other than that the game went amazingly well."

I extricate myself from his arm and cover my nose. "Well it's great that you won, but I think you need a shower. You smell terrible."

"You don't like the smell of sweat?" He asks, narrowing his eyes at me. "And here I thought that was my best quality." I roll my eyes and then he's pulling me against him, wrapping his arms tightly around me so that my face is buried in his chest.

Squealing, I shove my hands against him, trying to get out of his hold. "Tobias! Stop it, you seriously stink!"

Standing up, he grips me by the wrists, pulling me up with him. He bends down and lifts me up over his shoulder, fireman style. "If I'm taking a shower, so are you."

"I already showered!" I'm gripping onto the bottom of his shirt as tight as I can. "I don't need another one!" Although, after being trapped in his arms his smell probably got all over my clothes. Great.

Tobias doesn't put me down until we're in the bathroom. Once he does, he captures my face between his hands and presses his lips against mine. I guess his adrenaline over winning the game hasn't passed yet. His lips are warm and strong against mine and I grip onto his biceps for stability.

Once he breaks the kiss, he leans into the shower and turns it on. "You know we're not together, right?" I'm breathless and he's moving to stand back in front of me, his hands going to my hips. "I mean…we've only been on one date."

"I never said we're together, but I mean it's not like we haven't dated before or had sex." I know he's right. He knows I know that he's right – and so does my body. "Just take a shower. You smell." He smirks, holding out his hand.

Rolling my eyes, I take his hand.

* * *

 **Okay, I know that this took forever to get up and I apologize, but I have not been very creative lately...just stressed with trying to prepare for the next semester of classes and work and finding a second job.**

 **However, the next chapter may take a bit to be posted because I am getting my wisdom teeth out in two days and don't really plan on doing anything but sleeping after the surgery.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of thunder and was slightly disappointed to look out the large windows and see nothing but rain and an occasional crack of thunder. My disappointed was, however, short lived with the thought of spending the day in bed.

And honestly? I was too comfortable to move. I was in one of Tobias's t-shirts, wrapped in thick blankets and my back was to Tobias's chest, his arm wrapped protectively around my stomach. I didn't want to move. I was extremely content with laying here for the rest of the day.

Soon Tobias is stirring behind me, waking up. I feel his breath against my neck and his morning stubble tickles my skin. "Morning." He yawns.

"Good morning." I reply, turning around so that I'm facing him. The arm that he had wrapped around my stomach earlier was now draped across my hip.

Another crash of thunder sounds and Tobias frowns. "I'm supposed to fly out to Philadelphia later tonight." I knew he had a terrible fear of planes – well, heights – and he already hated flying enough as it was, add a storm into the equation and he was absolutely miserable. He moves his arm from my waist to bring his hand up to brush my hair behind my ears. "You should come with me."

"To Philly?" I ask, a stupid question.

He nods, smiling again. "Yeah. We'd fly out tonight and then leave tomorrow night after the game."

I think about it for a few seconds. I don't have to work this weekend and I'm pretty sure Christina has plans with Will. And honestly? I wouldn't mind going to Philadelphia. I could go sight-seeing while Tobias is at practice and I had to admit – watching him play hockey was incredibly entertaining.

Shrugging, I nod. "Sure. I don't see why not." He leans in and presses his lips against mine. "As long as we don't have to leave bed until then."

Later that night, the two of us headed to the airport after stopping by my apartment so that I could grab some clean clothes for the trip. Christina was excited about the trip for me, happy that I was going on vacation with Tobias – although, I had to remind her that the trip was for his job and that it wasn't exactly a vacation since he would be practicing tomorrow morning and then had the game in the late afternoon.

Our flight wasn't until about eight-thirty, but we still got to the airport around seven to get through TSA quicker and not risk being late. Thankfully the earlier storm had passed so no flights were being cancelled.

The plane ride was only about two hours, which barely gave me enough time to take a short nap after takeoff. Tobias had managed to snag us two first-class seats at the last minute, also opting out of flying on the team's plane.

Once we landed, we headed straight to the hotel. It was almost eleven at night, so there weren't many people checking in – just the team and some businessmen in suits who looked like they had been travelling for the past week.

Tobias was basically dragging me to the elevator and then to our room, I was so exhausted. It didn't make sense – we had slept in late and then I had slept on the plane ride.

Maybe it was just the work week that had me exhausted.

I collapsed onto the bed as soon as we were in the hotel room. It wasn't anything spectacular – except the view, which we had an amazing view of City Hall – just a large king sized bed, a desk and a TV with a decent sized bathroom connected to the room.

Tobias sat down next to me, patting my jean-covered thigh. "Do not tell me that you're exhausted." He comments, smirking.

Rubbing my eyes, I shrug. "Well you can't really blame me after this morning."

He lounges out next to me, propping his head up with his hand. "I'd be happy to have a repeat." He leans in, pressing his lips to my neck and my heart rate speeds up.

"Mmm." I shove myself away from him, ignoring my body's wants, and roll off the bed. "As much as I would love to, you have to get up early for practice." Jesus, I sounded like a mother.

Tobias groans, hiding his face in the mattress. "Fine."

The following morning, I wake up to an empty bed and sigh. I knew that Tobias's career forced him to have early morning practices and late night games, but it would still be nice to wake up to him in the morning, I very rarely do.

However, he returns around ten-thirty to prepare for the game and when he comes back into the hotel room, he has a huge grin on his face.

He tosses me a plastic bag and I pull out a Blackhawks jersey with the number four on the back and 'Eaton' printed on top of the number. "I thought it was time that you had a jersey to represent your boyfriend."

I rise up on my knees and wrap an arm around the back of his neck, bringing his face close to mine and pressing my lips to his. "I love it."

Around noon, we both get dressed. Tobias changes into a suit – which is slightly distracting – and I change into a pair of jeans, black combat boots and throw on my new jersey. By twelve-thirty, we're heading to the Wells Fargo Center in South Philadelphia.

Tobias gives me a quick peck before heading to the locker room and then someone is tugging on my arm. Turning, I see a grinning Cara – the girlfriend of one of the Blackhawks' prospects – and we head to the suites to watch the game.

Tobias is the starting center and I can't help but feel a sense of pride in watching him and hearing people cheer for him when they announce his name.

The Flyers end up scoring two goals in the first period, I'm amazed by their goalie – he's like a brick wall, letting no shots get past him.

We're still down by two after the second period and I can feel the tension in the suite starting to grow, everyone hoping that we can somehow get at least one goal.

And then suddenly Tobias is back out on the ice during the third period, passing the puck to Patrick Kane who then manages to get a shot past the goalie and the tension in the box suddenly lowers and everyone's cheering.

I'm smiling and watching as Tobias skates after the puck when a player from the opposing team skates up behind him and shoves him into the boards, Tobias falls face first and I'm suddenly on my feet, waiting – praying – for him to get up. Kane is skating towards the aggressor and trying to throw a punch, but a referee is in between the two, separating them, while other team members are skating towards Tobias, trying to get him to stand up. The team doctor is escorted out onto the ice and is kneeling next to him, speaking.

Cara grips my hand tightly and I feel like I'm going to vomit. And then suddenly he's standing up again, leaning on the doctor and being escorted towards the locker room as both his team and the Flyers bang their sticks against the boards and ice in encouragement.

I turn and look for one of the managers. "Can I go see him?" I ask, feeling anxious and a few of the older men look at me and just shrug so I take that as a yes.

Heading out of the suite and down the escalator, I find the locker rooms and a security guard lets me past, instructing me where to go.

Tobias is sitting up on a table, his helmet and chest pads on the floor next to him. The doctor is checking his eyesight and making him follow his fingers. "Tobias." I breathe, feeling relieved seeing that he's not bleeding.

"I'm fine, Tris. Just taken by surprise." I don't trust his judgement, so I glance at the doctor who shrugs.

"He's fine. No signs of a concussion."

Stepping closer to him, I smack his arm. "Don't scare me like that again!" I threaten, annoyed, at the same time the doctor tells him, "Just don't go back onto the ice. You won't miss much."

The doctor leaves and Tobias rips off his elbow pads. "Fucking jackass. It was a dirty hit and he didn't even get a goddamn penalty." He bends over, groaning, unties his skates and yanks them off. He's still mumbling to himself, threatening to get revenge on the player the next time they face off when he finally looks back at me, suddenly remembering that I'm in the room with him. "I'm sorry I worried you." He apologizes, reaching for my wrist and tugging me towards him.

He moves to sit on the edge of the table and pulls me close to him. He presses a kiss under my jaw and I can't help but smile.

I start to wrap my arms around the back of his neck when suddenly the locker room doors burst open and the team files in, most of them looking upset. I take a step back, away from Tobias, folding my arms behind my back and feeling blood rush to my cheeks.

"What happened?" Tobias asks, hopping down from the table.

The goalie waddles in, yanking off his mask. "We lost by two." He didn't look angry or upset like the rest of the team – he looked disappointed. I suddenly realized he was probably blaming himself for the loss, for letting the puck get past him.

Tobias gave him a pat on the back, trying to reassure him. The goalie gave him a weak smile. As I turned to leave the room, I saw a glint of disappointment in Tobias's eyes – he was blaming himself just as much.

It took a while for any of the team members to leave the locker room and when they did, I saw that they all looked like they were children that had just been chastised by their parents.

When Tobias walks out, he takes my hand and starts to pull me towards the exit. "Everything okay?" I ask.

"Coach lectured us. This was the first game we lost and it was to a team that's more than fifteen points behind us. Needless to say that he wasn't very happy about it."

Glancing at Tobias, I can tell that he took his coach's words to heart and he's more than likely blaming the loss on himself. "This wasn't your fault, Tobias." I stop walking and he stops, too. "I can tell you're blaming yourself. But it wasn't your fault. You got hurt, that had nothing to do with how the team played."

He was one of the newer players on the team and there was no doubt that fans would be blaming the older players and the goalie. Tobias wouldn't even come up in the conversations on ESPN, except to talk about the ugly hit he took.

We were at his rental car now – well, it was actually a rental truck – and the sun was just starting to set. He sighs, stuffing his hockey bag into the bed of the truck. "Do you want to stay another night?"

The self-pity was long gone and he just looked tired, maybe even a little happy.

"I still haven't had the chance to go see the Liberty Bell or try an actual cheesesteak." He leans down and presses his lips against mine and then opens the passenger door for him, helping me up into the truck.

After a few hours of walking around the city and grabbing some dinner, we headed back to the hotel room. I headed up before him since he needed to talk about extending our stay with the concierge, and I had an article I had to send in to Max.

I had only been working with him for a few months now, but he still had me writing the sports articles because apparently people enjoyed hearing sports from the perspective of a woman. Max was actually impressed with my articles after I started getting help from Tobias on professional sports terms. I also think a big part of Max wanting to keep me on sports was the fact that he was personally a huge Blackhawks fan and it wasn't a secret that I was dating one of the newest star players.

I was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed with my laptop when Tobias finally came up, dropping his hockey bag on the floor. He stalks over to the bed and wraps his arms around my waist, sitting behind me.

He kisses my neck up, brushing my hair out of the way. I can't help the shiver that runs up my spine. "Tobias…" I try to turn away from him, but his hold is strong. "I really need to finish this article and you really need to shower."

"Finish it in the morning." He presses his lips to my neck again. "Come shower with me."

Groaning, I try to focus on my writing but it's difficult to do. Giving up, I slam my laptop shut and turn, capturing his face with my hands and crushing my lips against his. The kiss took him by surprise but as soon as his thoughts caught up to him, his hands were twisting themselves in my hair.

And then my back's pressed against the mattress and he's hovering over top of me. My hands roam down his shirt, trying to unbutton it quickly, shoving it off his shoulders. I was still in my jersey from earlier and he seemed surprised to find out that I wasn't wearing anything underneath it, except for my favorite pair of navy blue panties. "Jesus." He hisses, his hand roaming down my bare thigh. I laugh, feeling pride in being able to surprise him.

Later that night, after Tobias is showered and I'm back in the jersey and panties, we order some room service and drinks. I managed to send my article in that night, which would appease Max and give me tomorrow off.

Tobias and I are lounging in bed, some action movie playing on the TV in front of us, when I feel like something is bothering me. "You know…we never really talked about what happened in the few years we were separated." I say, unsure whether or not I really want to bring this up. "I mean…I know you were doing something hockey related, but what did you do for fun? Did you travel? Date anybody?"

He looks over at me with an eyebrow raised. "Most of my days were spent at a practice facility with the other prospects so I didn't really have a lot of time to travel. As for dating…there were a few."

 _A few_. What did he mean by "a few"? Like…was it two? Five? Twelve?

"How many?" I ask, my voice soft.

He shrugs, nonchalant. "Three – no, four. I went on a date with one girl but it didn't go any further than that. Although none of them were actually long term."

My stomach twists with jealousy and I suddenly feel stupid. Of course he dated. We broke up and I didn't expect him to just sit around. Besides, what girl didn't love a professional hockey player?

"What about you?" He asks. "Date anybody?" He wasn't stupid, he knew I was mainly curious about how many girls he dated.

Stupidly, I actually have to think about it for a few moments. "Do you remember my friend Al? The one I had physics with? I went on a few dates with him but there wasn't really anything there. Other than that…no one." My college dating life was sad, really. Christina had tried so, so hard to hook me up with guys but I wasn't into it. Most of them weren't looking for anything serious and I wasn't into that.

He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. He presses his lips to my forehead, the tip of my nose and then my lips. This kiss was gentle and sweet. "So…no man had any effect on you? At all?" I shake my head and he smiles.

"Well…none except one." And then I press my lips to his before curling into him and once again feeling like I could sleep for the next three days. I yawn and revel in the feel of his arms wrapped around me as I fall asleep.

* * *

 **I am so sorry that this took so long to get up! I just got back from vacation and my hotel had really bad wifi so there was no chance of it being uploaded while I was away. I also start classes this week, so I won't be writing as often, but i will still try and post a chapter a week.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

We had gotten back from Philadelphia the following afternoon and, unfortunately, Tobias had to head to practice – his coach wanting to improve on a few things before their next game on Wednesday – so I headed home, back to mine and Christina's apartment.

Christina was sitting at the small dinner table with a laptop, notebook and multiple magazines spread out in front of her. There were more magazines than there was table space, I thought to myself, gaping at the stack of magazines sitting on the floor next to her feet.

"Hey!" She smiles a bright smile at me after I shut the front door. "How was Philly? Besides the Hawks losing and Tobias getting a concussion."

Shrugging, I lift myself onto the kitchen counter, not wanting to move any of her things. "It was nice. The city's beautiful and the food's great. And he did not get a concussion. He was hit, but the doctor cleared him. He's fine."

She focuses back on the task at hand, typing quickly on her laptop. "That's good. There's some pizza in the oven if you want any."

Leaving her to her work, I head into my bedroom and toss my overnight bag onto my bed and take out all of my dirty clothes, tossing them into my laundry basket. I grab the Blackhawks jersey, smiling, fold it and then place it on top of my dresser.

I head into the bathroom, putting my toothbrush back and pausing to glance at my reflection in the mirror. My blonde hair is pulled back into a messy bun and my eyes are bright.

And then it suddenly hits me. Something that I've forgotten, something that I didn't realize until now. I do the math in my head, counting the days and then recounting them twice.

No. Absolutely not. This is not possible – I cannot be pregnant. It's stress…or maybe because I've been sleeping so much it somehow threw off my PH-balance. Just…no. I cannot be pregnant. I refuse to be pregnant.

"Tris?" Christina calls from the hallway. She stops outside the bathroom, looking confused. "Is everything okay?"

Shaking my head, I turn to face her. "I'm late."

She looks down at her phone, checking the time. If I didn't feel like the world was ending, it would have been hilarious. "You weren't supposed to work today? Or…" And then she gets it. "Oh. Oh. Oh my God. Oh my God, Tris! Are you sure?"

I shake my head again, feeling like I was going crazy. "No, but my period's never been late. And it's more than five days late."

She looked at a loss for words. "What do you want to do?" She asked.

I told her I needed a pregnancy test and she was out the door in a minute and then back within ten, with a brown paper bag in her hand. I shut the bathroom door, after taking the bag, and I heard her lean against the bathroom door.

After I peed on the blue stick, I washed my hands off and felt like my stomach was in hundreds of knots and my hands were gross and sweaty. I didn't want a baby – not now, anyways. I just graduated college, I just got my first adult job and I'm still paying off student loans. I'm still barely an adult! There was no way I would be able to care for an infant when I was still getting used to taking care of myself.

 _Calm down. Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths and try not to give yourself a goddamn panic attack_.

Five minutes passed and Christina knocked on the door. She poked her head in and glanced at me, sitting crossed-legged on top of the toilet (closed lid, duh) and then the test sitting on the counter.

"Are you…?" She asks, her eyes going to the test.

Taking a deep breath, I grab the test. "Positive." I drop the test in the trash, feeling like I'm about to cry.

Christina sits on the edge of the bathtub. "Are you going to tell Tobias?" Glances at me. "Wait…it is his, right?"

I glare at her. "Do you really think I would sleep around?!"

She holds up her hands defensively. "I wasn't implying that." I roll my eyes. "But seriously…Tobias deserves to know."

"I know, Christina. But I don't know how to tell him."

We just barely got back together. How could I drop a bomb like this on him? He's so focused on his career; it would be too big of a distraction. I don't want him to lose his dream job because of a minor inconvenience.

"You are keeping it…right?"

I wrap an arm gently around my stomach, suddenly more aware of my movements. "Yes…no. I don't know. I can't…I can't think straight right now."

Truthfully, I felt sick. I wanted to vomit. I wasn't prepared for this. I wasn't prepared to be a mother. I didn't even know if I _could_ be a mom.

All I really wanted was my Mom right now. I wanted her to be here for me, to tell me everything was going to be okay. That everything was going to be fine and I would get through this. I wanted to be in her arms.

But right now, I had Christina, and having her with me was almost as good as having my mom next to me. She knew me almost as well as my mom did. I knew she would stay here with me and stay by my side as long as I needed her to.

We spent a good portion of the afternoon sitting on the couch, Christina chatting away, probably trying to keep me from freaking out about the news. I was curled up underneath a blanket, my legs pulled up to my chest, staring blankly at the TV, barely away of what was playing on the screen.

My head felt like it was going to explode trying to process this information. I just…I don't understand how this happened. Tobias and I were careful! We used protection every single time!

 _Birth control and protection are successful 99% of the time…_

Of course we have to the be 1% that it's unsuccessful for.

My thoughts are interrupted by my phone ringing, again, and I know it's Tobias calling. Again. He's been calling all afternoon and each time I've had Christina ignore the call. I know I have to tell him and give him his options. But right now, I need time to process this and it doesn't help with Tobias calling every goddamn second.

The next day I have off of work and I'm extremely grateful for it. After I wake up, I spend a little bit just lying in bed and not wanting to get up and be a respectable member of society.

There's a knock at the front door and I can hear Christina shuffling towards the door. A deep voice starts talking but I can barely make out the words. And then I hear Christina say "She's asleep." Followed by. "I really don't think that's a good idea…"

And then Tobias is opening my bedroom door, worry etched all over his face. Christina is standing behind him, arms crossed tightly across her chest and looking at me, waiting for my reaction. "Tris…" Tobias breathes, his body visibly relaxing. "What's going on?" He asks, now that he knows I'm fine he sounds irritated.

I sit up in bed, keeping my comforter bunched up against my stomach. "Chris, can you give us some privacy?"

She gives a curt nod and then heads back into the living room. Tobias shuts the door and makes his way over to me, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"What gives, Tris?" Up close, he looks upset. "You were fine when we were in Philadelphia, why did you ice me out yesterday? Did I do something to hurt you?"

I pull my comforter tighter against me, wrapping my arms around my stomach. "You didn't…you didn't do anything wrong. I just needed…time." There. That was a good excuse. "I needed time to think about us and think about the future."

Tobias's face dropped and he looked at me carefully, looking for something. He scooted closer to me, placing his hand over top of my knee and giving it a squeeze. "Tris, if there's something wrong – you can tell me. I won't run again. I am here for you."

I peek up at him through my lashes and I feel my throat tighten. "I don't – I can't." I wring my hands in my lap, trying to keep them from shaking. "It's difficult." A stray tear falls and Tobias reaches his hand out and wipes it away, keeping his hand on my face, caressing. "Tobias…" My heart clenches when I look at him, into his dark blue eyes. God, he was just starting the career of his dreams, how could I do this to him? "I'm…pregnant." My voice is barely a whisper, but I know he can hear me because his hand drops from my face and a shocked, small gasp falls from his mouth.

"What?" He finally speaks and I never realized I was holding my breath. "Are you sure?" I nod and he runs a hand through his short hair, frustrated. "Shit…but we used condoms."

"Well one of them broke!" I snap and then instantly regret yelling at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell."

He looks at me, his eyes still wide with shock. "What are we going to do?"

Instantly, I'm shaking my head. "There doesn't have to be a 'we', Tobias. If you don't want to be a part of this and focus on your career, you can. I'm not going to make you stick around."

His eyes narrow and his lips twitch into a frown. "You really think that low of me?" He moves even closer, forcing me to pull my legs closer to me, and grabs my hands. "Tris, I love you and I am going to be there for you. I'm not leaving you. I've already promised you that."

"I don't even know if I'm going to keep it, Tobias." I murmur, staring down at our hands.

"Why?"

I snort, shaking my head. "I just graduated college! I'm still paying off student loans and I don't have a place big enough for a child and I don't have enough money to give it everything it needs!"  
"We can get a place together, with a bedroom for the baby. Tris, I make more than enough money to support us. I wouldn't leave you out to dry."

And then I'm crying and Tobias is pulling me into his chest and keeping his arms wrapped tightly around me. "Why are you crying?" He asks, sounding worried.

Sniffling, I lean back and wipe my tears away. "Because this isn't how I wanted to do this, Tobias! I wanted to be happily married and in an actual house with a full-time job and a husband that loves me. I wanted to be ready for the baby and bring a child into the world that I'm not prepared for. Kids had never even crossed my mind when we started dating!" I shake my head again, this is ridiculous. I had never pictured myself and Tobias having kids, honestly. I mean…not that I didn't once think that we'd get married after college – I was a college freshman dating the hockey team captain, of course I imagined getting married to him. But this was different. This was a _child._

What is my family going to think? Oh, God. I feel sick just thinking about telling my parents. They're going to freak out. They're not going to want to see me again. Oh no.

"Okay, well…now we have to think about all of this." I look at him, confused. Why is he still here? Why didn't he run when I gave him the chance? _I love you_. Oh, God. He told me he loves me and I ignored him, I didn't reply. No, he's just saying it because he knocked me up. "Tris?" He waves his hand in front of my face, trying to get my attention.

My head drops to my hands, my fingers gripping at my hair. "Tobias…I can't. I can't think straight right now, I'm freaking out and I don't know what to do. I can't think about what's going to happen in nine months…" How far along was I? Shit, I'd have to get an ultrasound. "Who even knows if we'll be together." Shaking my head. I don't want to be a single mother.

Tobias groans and the bed dips as he shifts, I see his jean covered knee move closer to me. "Jesus, Tris. For the fiftieth time, I. Am. Not. Leaving you. Not again."

His fingers wrap around my wrists and he pulls my hands off of my face, keeping my hands captive. "I am not the same guy from college. I am not going to ditch you at my first chance. I want you and I have always wanted you. That's not going to change."

"But what about…?" He drops my hands and then places one of his over my mouth to silence me.

Shaking his head, he says, "We'll worry about the baby when it's time. We have a few months until it's here. Look, I'm scared shitless. I never really planned on being a father – at least not right as my career was taking off. But it's happening and there's nothing we can do about it. I love you and no matter how freaked out I am right now; I am going to stay right by your side. Even when you get fat and cranky."

I narrow my eyes at him and pry his hand off my mouth. I want to hit him for the fat and cranky comment, but my heart is beating so quickly at everything else he said. He was going to stay with me. He wasn't going to leave.

We would get through this together. We could do this together.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

I kept waiting for Tobias to freak out. I kept waiting for him to tell me that he couldn't do this. That he wasn't ready. But he didn't. Weeks went by and not once did I see any kind of sign that he was rethinking this.

Any time that he wasn't away for a game, I was at his apartment. I had gotten permission from Max to work from home for a while, after explaining my situation.

There weren't a lot of people who knew about my being pregnant – just Tobias and Christina. I had told both of them to keep it to themselves for now until I figured out a way to start telling people. I had warned Christina that if she even as so much as made a suggestion to anybody about me, I would have a very good alibi after her body disappeared.

She was the one I had expected to immediately blab to all of our friends, but she wasn't. Tobias was.

I didn't know that he blabbed, since he probably knew that I would kill him, until I was at one of his games one night.

Christina and I were hanging out in one of the club suites with some of the other family and friends of the team when a few women came up to me. None of them had really ever said anything to me before but they were all smiling brightly. "We heard the big news! Congrats, Tris!" I stare at them, confused. "We heard that you and Tobias are expecting!"

After a few seconds, I force a pleasant smile and thank them. My blood starts to boil with anger. Tobias blabbed and his coach was going to have to find a new hot-shot rookie.

Once the game ends, I stomp my way towards the locker room and wait outside, my arms crossed tightly across my chest. He comes out smiling after the big win, but then his face drops when he sees me. Good.

"You told." I accuse when he's close enough to me.

"Just my teammates!" He defends himself, unbuttoning his jacket.

I stomp my foot, upset. "Tobias, you promised you wouldn't tell! If this gets out it might make its way back to my parents and I don't want them to hear about it from some online article!"

He hangs his head. "I'm sorry, Tris."

Once we're back at the apartment, I head into the bedroom and slam the door shut behind me. When the door closes, Tobias is still apologizing to me.

I hide under the covers, pulling them up and over my head. Tobias is knocking on the door but I ignore him. Eventually he gets up the courage to open the door. I hear him make his way over to the bed and then the bed dips when he sits down. "Tris, I really am sorry about telling people." He apologizes again and I feel the bed dip slightly behind my thighs where he's probably resting his arm. "But I don't see why you still want this to be a secret."

I wanted it to be a secret because I'm only nine and a half weeks along. I was still trying to understand what was happening and trying to get used to the idea that an actual human being was growing inside me.

"Tris, stop hiding. Talk to me." Tobias begs. I pull the covers away from my face. "I thought you'd be happy that I'm excited about this…" He looks hurt and I suddenly hate him for making me feel bad about freaking out on him.

"I do! I mean, I am happy that you're excited, but I'm still not…I'm still confused about this."

Tobias frowns at me. "Confused as in…you don't want to keep it?"

I sit up, running a hand through my hair, frustrated. "Of course I want to keep it." That was the one thing I was completely certain about. I wanted this baby. "I'm just confused about being a parent." Honestly, I was also still worried about people judging for me being a young mother. I mean, twenty-three isn't that young but in my eyes it is.

He laughs, a smile replacing his frown. "Tris, you're going to be an amazing mother. Our child will be so lucky to have you."

The way he says "our child" makes my heart swell and I can't help but smile at him.

"But you do realize that you're going to have to tell your parents sooner or later, right?"

I nod and sigh. That certainly wasn't something I was looking forward to. The only positive thing out of it was that it was only my parents we had to tell – Tobias hasn't spoken to either of his parents since he graduated high school. But it also made it harder because I knew my parents believed in being married before having kids, so this situation wouldn't be the most amazing thing to happen to the family.

"I will tell them. Just…I'll tell them once I've finally absorbed the news and have accepted it."

Again, it was still hard to believe that I was pregnant. I was having mood swings and the morning sickness was physical proof, but other than that there wasn't anything else. I wasn't showing, the only weight gain I had was in my hips – which I discovered after my favorite pair of jeans were tighter in the hip areas – and at my first official doctor's appointment, I was told that the baby was maybe the size of a grape.

I let Tobias pull me into him, wrapping his arms around me. I curled up against his chest, ignoring the slight stench of sweaty hockey equipment.

"I know something that will make you feel better." He says.

"Cupcakes?" I joke, perking up.

He presses his lips to the top of my head, chuckling. "Stay here." He orders after setting me on the bed. He goes back into the living room and returns with his laptop.

Settling down next to me, he turns it on and then pulls up a realtor website. After a few more clicks, he pulls up a picture of a townhouse – the front looks modern with its red brick face and black windows to match the black front door. "It's a brand new house. Just built. My realtor told me about it back when it was being constructed, before he sold me this apartment. I got in contact with him and he said the current owners were moving and it was being put up on the market again." He clicks on the photo album and starts to go through all the pictures. It's a beautiful house, really. Everything is modern – dark hardwood floors with gray walls and white borders. The kitchen was my favorite thing about the house. It had white cabinets with cream, marble countertops and a white tiled backsplash. "There are six bedrooms." Tobias says as he clicks on the first bedroom and then glances at me. "So Christina can move in, too. She can have an entire floor to herself, actually." He jokes.

I stare at him, open-mouthed. He knew one of the reasons I was so hesitant when it came to moving in with him was because Christina and I had just gotten a place together. I didn't watch to ditch her after only a few months in the place.

And here he was, letting my best friend move into a house meant for our little family. At that moment I remember what he said the night I told him I was pregnant. How he told me he loved me and I never said it back to him because I was too preoccupied with my freak out.

"I love you." I tell him and then lean over, pressing my lips to his.

When I pull away, he's smirking. "You're just saying that because I bought you a house."

Rolling my eyes, I shove his arm. "Maybe I am…wait. You already bought it?"

He nods and shrugs. "I wanted to be sure that I got it."

"You really bought me a house?" I ask, feeling breathless.

Tobias smiles at me. "For us. I told you, Tris. I'm in this for the long-run and if buying a house for you meant that you would finally see that, then so be it. I'm not leaving you and I'm not leaving our child. I won't be like my father."

 _Ah. That's why he wasn't freaking out. He was so focused on not being his father._

After a few moments of quiet, I look back up at him. "When can we move in?"

His smile brightens even further and he closes the laptop, placing it on the bedside table. "Within the next three months."

The next day was one of the few days Tobias had off for the next two weeks. After tomorrow, he would be travelling to California to play Anaheim and San Jose, and then fly to Ottawa and Montreal.

I was only going to be flying to California with him. My morning sickness was really bad this week and I didn't think I could handle all the travelling, but I was dying to go to California.

But for now, I was focusing on spending time with him now.

We were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some Lifetime movie when my phone starts to ring.

Caleb's name, my brother, appears on the screen and I pick it up. "Hey, Caleb. What's up?" I hadn't heard from him in a while. He had moved to Washington D.C. to work with some intelligence agency, the genius that he was, and had very little time to make personal trips. My parents weren't all that thrilled with his boss, but they couldn't do anything about it, even though my father worked alongside Chicago's mayor.

"Hey, I'm being sent to Chicago for work and I've saved up enough personal time to request an extra two days in town. I was wondering if you wanted to meet up for dinner?" I glance over at Tobias, who is focused on me.

I was a little hesitant to answer. Of course I wanted to see my brother, but he was insanely perceptive and I don't want to risk him finding out about my pregnancy. "Uhh, yeah. Sure."

"And you can finally introduce me to your boyfriend." I groan. Of course he'd know. "You really didn't think you could keep the fact that you're dating a Blackhawks' player secret, did you?"

Sighing, I shake my head. "No, but I had hoped you wouldn't bring that up."

Caleb laughs. "Yeah, well, Dad thinks that you can get us suite tickets to some of the games."

My dad wasn't lying, but I wasn't going to admit that. I could give them the tickets as a Christmas present and then lie and say I bought them. A little white lie wouldn't kill them.

"Wait…are Mom and Dad back, too?" They had taken an extended vacation to the Caribbean and I was under the impression they wouldn't be back until the week before Christmas. Not the middle of November.

"Yeah, I thought all of us would have dinner. I know they're excited to meet Tobias."

Ugh. Of course. I say good-bye to Caleb, telling him to call me when he gets in to Chicago and then I sink back into the couch.

Tobias quirks an eyebrow at me. "Is everything okay?"

"Umm, no. We're going to have dinner with my family in a few days."

To say I was a nervous wreck would be an understatement. I had been up the entire night before, worrying about if they would find out about my pregnancy from just looking at me.

And then when the night came and I had to get ready to go to dinner, I had changed my outfit at least nine times, trying to find something that didn't hug my stomach too tightly. I had eventually settled on a pair of artfully faded jeans along with a black blouse that was very loose and flowy around my stomach. I wasn't showing but I was paranoid that somehow, they would be able to tell. So I decided to play it safe.

Tobias had opted for a dark gray sweater and a pair of black jeans. He looked good. Really good. "Ready to go?" He asks, holding his hand out to take mine.

"No, but I have to."

We take a cab into the city where we're meeting up with my family for dinner. The restaurant was chosen by my dad. It's a really nice place, making me feel underdressed in my jeans.

My Mom is the first one to fold me in her arms. "I've missed you, honey." She says, pressing her lips to my cheek. I smile at her and then hug my dad and Caleb. I'm surprised to see that Caleb has cut his hair since the last time I saw him. It no longer falls into her eyes and he's started wearing glasses.

"Tobias Eaton," My dad bellows excitedly. I stifle a groan. "It is so nice to finally meet you." My parents knew that the two of us had dated briefly my freshman year of college, but I had never actually introduced them to him. They just knew about him from what I told them. "You've done great things for the Blackhawks so far this season."

This time, I can't help my groan. "Dad, can we not do this right now?" Tobias wraps an arm around my waist, giving me a reassuring squeeze. _It's fine_.

"I think our table's ready, anyways." My mom speaks up and I flash her a thankful smile.

We head into the restaurant, following the maître de. Tobias takes a seat next to me as I sit across from my parents and Caleb seats in between my Mom and me.

After ordering our drinks – I order an iced tea – my dad starts right in with questioning Tobias about the team and discussing scores and future games. "Do you think you guys have a good chance at the Cup this year? I know it just went to Pittsburgh, which a lot of people weren't too happy with."

Tobias laughs, his one hand resting on my thigh. "It's a little too early to tell. A lot of teams that are doing bad right now, like Jersey, might end up taking the lead later on. That's not something we focus on until at least mid-February."

My father finally directs his questions to me. "So Beatrice, when were you planning on telling your mother and me about your dating a professional hockey player?"

I shrug. "I don't really think mentioning his career was that important. And you only care because he plays for your favorite team." I joke.

Everybody laughs and our laughter is interrupted by the waiter coming over to take our order. He does a double take when he sees Tobias and I can't help a smirk, hiding my face in the menu. I still enjoy seeing people get excited whenever they see Tobias and realize who he is.

After we order our food, our conversation turns mundane. My parents ask about how my job is going and about how Caleb's job is going. And then they ask about Susan.

"Who's Susan?" I ask, feeling left out.

Caleb flushes and I stare at him, surprised. "She's my ah…she's my girlfriend."

Caleb had a girlfriend? And my parents knew but I didn't…Why did that hurt so much? We used to be so close when we were younger and then he moved to D.C. and we hadn't been able to talk as much.

After dinner, we all head outside to wait for our rides. Caleb, my dad and Tobias are huddled together and talking about hockey while my Mom and I keep our arms wrapped around ourselves, trying to keep warm.

"He's very attractive." My Mom says, smiling at me.

I look over at Tobias and feel a blush creep over my face. "Yeah. But he can be a huge jackass sometimes."

My Mom laughs. "I can tell that he loves you a lot. Just from the way he was staring at you." I duck my head down, trying to hide my face. "I wouldn't be surprised if he asked you to marry him soon."

"Mom!" I gasp, looking at her. "We just started dating again. He's focused on his career and…there's a lot going on right now. I'm pretty sure marriage is the last thing on his mind."

She chuckles as everyone walks over to us. "Whatever you say, Beatrice."

The taxis pull up and, after hugging and kissing my family goodbye, Tobias and I head back to his apartment.

"What were you talking to my dad about?" I ask, once we're back home and I can finally take my jacket off.

Tobias smirks. "Guy things." He chuckles and then shakes his head, looking as happy as when he's won a game. "I promised him that I would get him tickets to the next few Hawks games."

He steps in front of me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me in closely. "I like your family."

"Yeah?"

Nodding, he presses a chaste kiss against my lips, my heart kicking into full gear. "Absolutely. And I think they like me."

I knew they liked him, but I wasn't going to let him know that. I needed to make sure his head didn't get too big. "Well that's only because they don't actually know you." I joke, wrapping my arms around the back of his neck and pressing my lips to his. "I know my mom likes you a lot." I say, stepping away from him. "She apparently thinks that you're going to propose to me soon." I say, laughing nervously.

Tobias chuckles but doesn't say anything, which really worries me. He just kisses the top of my head and then heads into the bathroom to take a shower.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

The morning sickness was my biggest problem and it woke me up early most mornings and continues throughout most of the day. But thankfully it wasn't as bad as it was in the morning.

I hated it and I knew that Tobias hated it because he didn't know what he could do for me. I just told him that I would be fine and that it would go away soon.

Unfortunately, I didn't feel well enough to travel anywhere outside of the city, so I couldn't make it to California. Tobias was disappointed, but I promised him that I would be watching the games on television with my friends. Besides, the road trip was four days in four different cities. He'd be back soon enough.

Christina and I had invited a handful of friends over to the apartment to watch the games on TV each day. Will came over along with some college friends, Uriah and Marlene, Lynn and Al.

It was nice to spend time with my friends and everybody was in a good mood – the Blackhawks won each game on the road trip.

And when Tobias returned, he was in the best mood I'd seen him in in a while. He was more than excited when he walked through the apartment door. He even swept me into a tight hug, pressing his lips to mine, strong and fierce.

I laughed as he put me back down. "I didn't expect you to be this happy about winning." I smile, keeping my arms wrapped around his waist.

"We're number one in the league!" He exclaims, dropping his stuff on the floor. "We have more points than the Washington Capitals! Coach is absolutely ecstatic and has given us Christmas off."

Christmas was next week and we had been invited to my parents' for their annual Christmas party. Tobias had told them he wasn't available because of practices both days, but now he'd be able to come and he looked excited. Probably a little more excited than he should have been about going to a party with a bunch of boring government officials.

The days leading up to the party made me panic. My belly was starting to grow and I had a fairly noticeable bump. It wasn't big, but it was big enough to notice – especially with how tiny I normally was.

"They're going to be able to tell." I groan, my voice full of panic. It was the morning of Christmas Eve and I was standing in front of the full length mirror in my bedroom. I was trying to find a reasonable outfit to wear to the party tonight, but all of my clothes hugged my stomach too tightly.

"You're fine, Tris." Christina tries to reassure me. She was sitting cross-legged on my bed and Tobias was sitting on the edge of my bed. "Nobody will notice."

Even she knew I could that she was lying.

Tobias speaks up, his arms crossed over his chest. "I think you should tell them – it'd be a nice Christmas gift."

I turn around and narrow my eyes at him.

Going through my closet again, I scan through my small selection of dresses. Most of them are made for spring and summer, light and very colorful.

Giving up, I turn around and look at Christina. "Are you up for a shopping trip?" And she grins from ear to ear.

We head to a department store right down the street from our apartment and Christina chats excitedly about how she plans to decorate our new house. I had told Christina about the new house the night before and how she'd have her own floor. I had expected her to be upset about the idea and not feel comfortable moving in with us, but she was really excited.

There weren't a lot of dress choices available, the downside to last minute shopping. But I did end up finding a black silk dress with quarter lace sleeves and a sweetheart neckline with lace overlay.

The best part was it was actually a little loose around my stomach. The lady who worked there asked if I wanted her to take it in, but I just smiled and shook my head.

Christina was adamant on finding a nice pair of heels to go with the dress but I told her that I was just going to wear a pair of flats from home.

On our walk home, we stayed huddled close to each other, stomping through the snow and keeping our heads down to fight off the biting cold. "Are you really going to tell your parents about the baby tonight?" She asks.

I shake my head, focusing on walking through the snow. "No. Not tonight, anyways. I want to tell them without an audience."

As soon as we reached the apartment, we shrugged our coats off in the lobby and then headed up the steps.

Tobias was sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some hockey game on TV. "Checking out the competition?" Christina asks, plopping down next to him.

He laughs. "It's the Capitals and the Panthers. The Caps are our biggest adversaries right now, right behind us in points…"

"Yeah, I was just joking." Christina says, looking lost and confused. I laugh, heading into my bedroom. I toss the bag with my dress onto the bed and then stand in front of the mirror again. I had shed my coat and sweatshirt so the only top I was wearing was my white t-shirt.

Twisting my torso, I stare at the bump slightly protruding from between my hips. I pull the bottom of my shirt up so that my skin in visible.

 _I wonder if it's too early for the baby to actually be moving and to be able to feel that movement…_ I thought to myself.

Distracted, I wasn't aware of someone creeping up behind me until I felt Tobias's arms wrap around my waist. He rested his chin on my shoulder, looking at me in the mirror. "Everything okay?" He asks.

"Yeah, just…it's starting to feel real." His hands move to my stomach and they feel warm against my bare skin, sending a jolt of electricity through my body. I lean my head back into his chest and see him smile in the mirror. "Are you still going to love me even when I get fat?"

Chuckling, he presses his lips to the side of my neck. "Of course."

"And when I get extremely moody?"

He turns me around so that I'm facing him and fixes me a stare. "Tris, I will love you even when you tell me that you hate me. You're not getting rid of me."

When he presses his lips to mine, my entire body lights up and suddenly I'm throwing my arms around his neck and pulling myself closer to him. The kiss changes from sweet to intense and hungry. Tobias's hands grip at my shirt, pulling it off over my head. "The door." I mumble when I'm able to pull myself away from him.

He shuts the bedroom door and his back in front of me in less than five seconds. His lips back on mine as I pull his shirt off. I run my hands down his back, trying to imagine my hands tracing the tattoo covering his back, trying to picture the black curls licking around to his ribs.

"What about Christina?" He asks against my lips.

"She knows not to barge in."

Tobias brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, caressing my face. "We should probably get ready for the party." He sighs.

I pull myself closer to him, burying my face in his chest. "Or we could skip and stay here."

He laughs and then pulls my arm off of him. He sits up and I'm distracted by his bare chest. "I don't think your parents would enjoy that too much. They'd probably be upset and blame me."

"My parents would still adore you if we skipped." I grumble, sitting up and keeping the blanket pressed against my chest.

He pulls his pants on and then pulls on a navy blue sweater that makes his blue eyes even bluer. "Get dressed." He orders, moving to my side of the bed and giving me a quick kiss before heading out to the living room.

Once I'm dressed and slide my feet into my red flats, I twist my hair into a bun and apply some mascara and some lip gloss.

Tobias is waiting for me in the living room, his phone pressed to his ear. Christina was going to come with us, but she was going to Will's parents' for dinner. "I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." He ends the call and then smiles at me. "You look beautiful." He moves over to me and gives me a soft kiss on my forehead. "Ready?" he asks and I nod.

My parents still lived in my childhood home, except now it was decorated differently – most of mine and Caleb's childhood things had been moved to storage, given away or we took them when we moved out.

But the house was currently decked out in Christmas decorations. There was a large tree in the living room, decorated with colorful lights, sparkly garland and different ornaments – some of them were the homemade ones Caleb and I made when we were children. The house smelled like turkey and stuffing and pies and I was happy that my morning sickness wasn't acting up today.

My Mom greeted us at the door, hugging both of us and grinning at Tobias. "I'm so glad to see you again, Tobias!" She exclaims happily.

My Dad comes over a few moments later to greet us, kissing my cheek and clapping Tobias on the back. "I'd hate to do this Tris, but I'm going to steal Tobias for a bit. I have some friends who are dying to meet him."

"That's okay." I give Tobias an apologetic smile and then let my Mom drag me to meet some of her old friends.

Apparently I already knew most of them, but hadn't seen them since I was young. They all exclaimed how happy they were to see me and how much I had grown. And then they started asking me about my job at the magazine and how I was liking that and then they started questioning me about Tobias.

Thankfully, Tobias made his way back to me, saving me from any more personal questions. He wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me against his hip. He had a beer in his open hand and I stare it, wishing so much that I could have a few drinks.

I really didn't know how much more of this party I could take, and we'd only been here for about an hour and a half.

"…Tris?" I hear Tobias and am suddenly aware of my brother standing in front of me.

Caleb laughs and shakes his head. "Don't you want a drink? I'm surprised you haven't already started drinking."

I laugh nervously, shaking my head. "I'm the one driving. No drinks for me."

He eyes me carefully, but doesn't say anything. He just shrugs and heads to some of his friends in the corner of the living room.

Tobias squeezed my hip lightly, reassuring me, and then we make our way over to the couch. My Mom appears with two plates with pumpkin pie on them. I smile at her and thank her, taking one of the plates.

Tobias and I spend the rest of the night sitting on the couch, talking amongst ourselves and occasionally to other people who sit across from us. A handful of my dad's friends and Caleb's friends sit around us to talk to Tobias, discussing hockey games and certain players. They occasionally bring up the referee's neglect to make certain calls, and Tobias just shrugs it off.

Everyone's mostly preoccupied with Tobias, what with him being a big NHL player, to really involve me in the conversations.

Personally, I don't mind it. I enjoy watching Tobias talk about something that he's so invested in – the way his eyes light up when he starts to talk about hockey.

The two of us stay for a bit, after everyone's finally started to leave. It's close to midnight when I suggest to Tobias that we should leave. "You two can stay!" My mom insists, her eyes big and round, pleading. "I feel like I barely got to see you two all night." Her voice is sad and I suddenly feel guilty for wanting to leave.

"We have the extra room." My dad butts in. He's looking at Tobias and I don't know if he's hoping that I'll notice or if he just doesn't care.

But I glance between him and Tobias. It's almost like they're having a silent conversation and I'm feeling really irritated that I'm being left out.

"Can one of you two tell me what's going on?" I bark, my irritation getting the best of me.

Tobias clears his throat and shifts on the couch so that his body is angling towards mine. He reaches for my hands, clasping them in between his. "Tris…" He starts and I feel my stomach drop. _Oh no._ "I know that we had a…rocky start to our relationship and I was a complete ass back in college. But we're together again and I've never been happier. You know how much I love you and I really just…I want this to be real so that we can start building our life together. For real this time." He pulls a black box out of his back pocket and opens it, revealing a beautiful ring – it has a thin band with diamonds running around the band and a breathtaking round diamond sitting on the top. "Will you marry me?"

I stare at him, dumbfounded. I glance over at my family – my Dad's smiling brightly, Caleb's leaning over the back of the couch and smirking and my Mom's crying, a hand over her mouth.

They all knew about this! Goddammit, that why was my Mom brought it up – she knew! And my dad and Caleb were smirking because they both knew, too!

I look back at Tobias, who is still holding the ring out to me and I can see the love and hope burning intensely in his blue eyes. The love radiating off of him and I can't help but feel like I'm going to cry. My chest tightens and my throat constricts, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes. "Well?" He asks.

"Yes." My answer is barely audible, but he's able to hear it. He takes the ring from the box and places it on my ring finger on my left hand and then he pulls me to him, pressing his lips gently against mine, aware of whose company we're in.

My Mom claps, her smile covering most of her face and tears still streaming down her cheeks. "Oh, Beatrice! I'm so happy!" She exclaims, pulling me into a tight hug.

Looking over her shoulder, I see Caleb and Tobias fist bump and then my Dad pats him on the back. At least I never have to worry about them getting along.

After my Mom envelops Tobias is a tight hug, she smiles at the two of us – Tobias now has both of his arms wrapped around my waist, my back to his chest. "Okay, now you two can leave." She says, and I shake my head, laughing.

I feel abnormally light all the way home, my eyes occasionally straying from the dark road to the glistening ring on my finger.

When we get back to Tobias's apartment, I crush my lips against his as soon as the door closes behind us. His hands go to my hips, taken by surprise. I hug my arms tightly around his neck, bowing my body against his. I thought that it would take me awhile to get used to being engaged, that I wasn't sure I was ready for this with Tobias. But it was the opposite – everything felt right.

"I take it you're happy with the ring?" He asks when he pulls away, and there's a smirk on his face.

I nod. "Did they all know?" I ask and when he nods, I just shake my head.

"Christina knew, too." He adds and I gape at him. "I had to get your family's permission and permission from your best friend. It was the right thing to do."

"God I love you so much." And then I brush my lips to his again, desire coursing through my body at the kiss.

Tobias breaks the kiss and I groan, irritated. "You're exhausted. C'mon, bed." My eyes brighten for a second before he shakes his head. "You need to sleep."

He was right, of course. I was tired. Really tired. But I just wanted him, and I knew part of it was the pregnancy hormones but the other part was just my complete love for him. He was mine…officially.

I changed into a pair of light blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt, crawling into bed. I laid in bed, staring at my ring, while Tobias got changed. When he was done, he stretched out next to me and smirked. "Like your ring?'

Nodding, I drop my hands to rest on my stomach. "I love it."

Tobias shifts and moves his head down near my stomach. He pushes my shirt up over my stomach and then runs his hand lightly over the small bump. "What are you doing?" I ask, curious.

He smiles slightly and then lightly presses his lips against my stomach. I shiver, my hand instinctively going to rest on the top of his head. "Is he moving?" Tobias asks.

I shake my head. "No, and who says it's a 'he'?"

"I can hope." I laugh and then he moves back up my body to press his lips against mine. I twist my fingers through his hair, holding him to me. I pull away to catch my breath and he presses his forehead against mine. "I'm not going to be able to sleep if you keep up with this."

He gives me one more quick kiss and then rolls back over to his side.

I lay in bed for a while, twisting the ring around my finger, unable to contain my happiness. I was so beyond happy that I felt like I was going to explode. There was no way someone was allowed to be this happy. It wasn't fair, I was probably taking up more quota of happiness than one person was allowed.

* * *

 **A/N: You guys, I'm so happy that so many of you are enjoying this story. It's really helpful when I'm writing and all of your comments and reviews are great. Also, I just wanted to let you guys know that this isn't going to be a very long story, maybe 15-20 chapters. I never really planned on it being very long. I don't want to force out chapters just to keep the story going.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Christmas day was spent at Christina and I's apartment. Will and Tobias were over along with Uriah, Marlene, Lynn and Al. The morning was spent opening gifts and Will and I starting to prepare for dinner. Normally Christina would be helping me, but she cannot cook and the last thing we needed was a burnt or undercooked turkey and Will was surprisingly a good cook.

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor, Tobias sitting behind me on the couch. We had opened pretty much every present and then Christina yanks one more from under the small tree.

"Here." She smiles and hands me the red-wrapped package.

Giving her a funny look, I open the present, curiously. Inside the box is a little white piece of folded fabric. I pick it up and I smile at the white onesie with the Chicago Blackhawks logo on the front and the number four on the back.

"Really?" I ask, laughing. Everyone around us started laughing and Tobias reached over my head to grab the onesie from my hands.

Christina shrugs. "I thought it was cute and I wanted to be the first person to give you a baby gift."

I roll my eyes, but lean over to where she's sitting on the floor and embrace her. "It's great, thank you."

After we eat dinner and have dessert, everyone heads back home except for Will and Tobias. They stay behind to help us clean up from dinner and clean up the rest of the gift wrappings off the floor.

"When do you have your next scan?" Christina asks, plopping down onto the couch once we're done cleaning up.

"Tomorrow, actually." I sit down next to her, pulling my legs under me. Tobias and Will are standing in the kitchen, drinking beers and talking about something…hockey probably.

"How are you feeling about the whole thing?" She asks, propping her head up with her hand. "You know…the whole pregnancy thing."

Shrugging, I pick at a loose thread on the coach. "Definitely a lot better than I first was." And it was true. I've grown used to the idea of being a mom soon. I was even a little excited – at least when I wasn't nervous about trying to be a good mom. But Tobias was actually a big help. He was there when I started to get too worried and had even put himself in charge of the nursery. He was doing so much more than he needed to do. I honestly have never seen him so excited for anything.

The boys make their way over to us and we turn on _A Christmas Story_. After the movie's over, Tobias and Will gather up their things to leave.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow around two for the scan." Tobias tells me, tugging his black coat on. He leans down and gives me a swift, chaste kiss on the lips. "Love you."

Smiling, I kiss him back and then hug Will after he kisses Christina – a little more intimately than was necessary in front of other people, and then they leave.

Christina is standing in the living room, a faint blush on her cheeks from the kiss and a goofy smile on her lips. Rolling my eyes, I give her a quick hug. "I'm going to bed. You should too, unless you're just going to stand there thinking about Will."

She shoves my shoulder, laughing. "Good night, Tris. And Merry Christmas."

I change into a pair of black leggings and one of Tobias's navy blue sweatshirt. My small pile of gifts is sitting on top of my dresser. There's only a few gifts from my friends – I had refused to accept anything from Tobias, since he had already bought me a house and an expensive engagement ring.

Lying in bed, I stare at my ring. I'm still so distracted by how shiny the diamonds are and how it fits my finger perfectly. I can't believe I'm getting married. I can't believe that I'm going to get married soon.

I always knew that I would get married, I had always planned to get married. But after my freshman year of college, I really didn't believe that I would speak to Tobias again let alone agree to marry him and have a baby with him. It was weird and strange and…it felt right. I didn't need to decide how I felt about him because I've always loved him. Even after he broke my heart, I still loved him.

I run my hand over the tiny bump. It had been so much easier to accept that I was pregnant after the morning sickness had ended. Given it only ended earlier this week…but still.

There were still doubts in my mind, but only about my ability to be a good mother. I didn't have the experience of dealing with small kinds. I never babysat, I never had a younger sibling to take care of. And Caleb didn't have any kids so it wasn't even like I could have had "practice" with a niece of nephew.

Turning onto my side, I shut my lamp off and try to keep my head quiet long enough to fall asleep.

New Year's Eve was spent at Tobias's apartment, mainly because it was the only apartment big enough to handle the large crowd. Not only were me, Christina and Will there, but so were my parents and Caleb, a handful of our mutual friends and then probably three-fourths of his team.

As soon as we stepped in the front door, Christina, Will and I were all suddenly feeling overwhelmed. And, even though I was wearing nice dress, I still felt underdressed compared to some of the players' girlfriends and wives. I look down at my dark maroon shift dress and feel like I should be in designer clothes with a blowout and my face caked in makeup.

Tobias is standing by the windows, surrounded by a few of his teammates and laughing loudly, a beer in his hand.

He looks up, sees me and then makes his way over to my group. "Hey, Tris." He gives me a kiss, wrapping an arm around my waist. "Hey, Christina. Will. Oh, Will, there's a few guys I want to introduce you to."

Keeping his arm securely around my waist, he starts to pull me towards the group he was standing with. He introduces Will and I cover my mouth with my hand to hide my laughter. The look on Will's face looks like a kid walking into Disney World for the first time – awe and even a little worship. Christina was shaking her head, keeping her hand securely in his, probably to keep him from hugging one of the players. It was nice to see them accept him as easily as they had accepted me and it meant a lot more to him.

My parents find us soon after, and my dad gravitates towards the Blackhawks players, making my mom roll her eyes.

Surprisingly, Caleb has a girl attached to his hip when he finds us. "Hey, Tris. I want you to meet Susan. She's my girlfriend."

She smiles and extends her hand out to me. "It's nice to finally meet you, Tris." I shake her hand, my mouth gaping.

"I'm sorry." I apologize, dropping her hand. "It's just been a long time since Caleb's introduced me to one of his girlfriends. Like…a long time. I actually think the last time was in high school…" Caleb clears his throat nervously, Susan blushes and Tobias chuckles while shaking his head.

"Was that really necessary?" Caleb asks, looking annoyed and embarrassed.

I shrug. "I'm your sister, I'm supposed to embarrass you."

"Alright, enough picking on him." Tobias sounds like he's trying to be serious, but there's a smile fighting its way onto his face. "I want to introduce you to a few people." He steers me away from the small group and towards a few guys who looked to be around his age.

The rest of the night is spent walking around the apartment, talking to different people and occasionally grabbing a plateful of food. Five minutes before the ball drops, everyone gathers in the living room and someone turns the TV on and we all stand around, chatting until the countdown and once the clock hits midnight, everyone cheers and hollers and couples kiss. Tobias pulls me into him, pressing his lips against mine and everything around us disappears. The cheers are drowned out and all I can feel is Tobias – his lips against mine, soft and strong at the same time, and his arms wrapped tightly around my waist. I'm brought back to the present by fireworks going off, close by, and a few people make their way out onto the balcony to watch the fireworks.

It doesn't take long for people to start leaving, my parents and Caleb among the first group. They sought me out and kissed me goodbye.

After that, everyone started to slowly disperse. Tobias said goodbye to his teammates and Christina and Will were the last to leave. "Are you sure you're fine staying here?" Christina asked me after hugging me, and glances around the apartment at the mess.

Laughing, I nod. "Yeah, I'll be fine. He's going to need some help cleaning this up otherwise he'll never get it done." And after how touchy-feely Will and Christina had been tonight, there was no way I wanted to be in the apartment with them. They could have the apartment for the next four days if it saved me from hearing anything they were up to.

Once they were gone, I headed to the bedroom to change out of my dress and into a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, climbing under the covers in the bed.

Tobias joined me a little while later, kicking off his shoes and groaning as he collapsed into bed next to me, still wearing his dark wash jeans and dark green sweater. "I'm so tired." He grumbles into his pillow. I chuckle, patting his back. "Thank you for coming tonight, it was great." He looks up at me, resting his chin on his forearms.

"Why wouldn't I have showed up?" I ask. "Besides, I had fun talking to your teammates. And it was funny seeing how Will reacted to seeing them…. ow!" I gasp, clutching my stomach and grimacing, a sharp pain shooting through my stomach.

Tobias sits up with inhuman speed, leaning towards me anxiously. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

The pain was still in my stomach, but it had also travelled to my lower back. It was like period cramps, but a little more painful. I clench my teeth, breathing deeply and waiting for the pain to end.

But it doesn't.

"Tris…" Tobias says and the tone of his voice makes my heart lurch and I glance at him. He's staring at my legs and when I look down, I see what he's staring at. There's a dark patch of red seeping through my sweatpants. "We need to go to the hospital." He's scrambling out of bed and throwing his shoes back on before grabbing my flats from earlier and helping me out of bed.

As soon as I'm standing up, he sweeps me up into his arms and I grip his sweater tightly in my fists. My stomach was still in pain and I bit the insides of my cheeks to keep from crying out in pain.

Tobias helped me out of the cab once we arrived at the hospital and he carried me into the E.R. The nurse at the front desk looked up at our approach and gasped, covering her mouth with her hand. "Come with me." She says and then directs Tobias over to an empty bed, pulling the curtains around us closed for privacy.

Tobias sets me on the bed and the nurse disappears to grab a doctor. Tobias sits in the chair next to the bed, leaning forward on his elbows.

When the nurse comes back with the doctor, the nurse glances at Tobias. "You're going to need to leave."

"I'm not leaving." He growls, glaring at the nurse and for once, he actually looked terrifying. He didn't look like my Tobias at all.

"Tobias." I groan, looking at him. "Can you call Christina?"

He gets up to leave and I grimace as another stab of pain hits my stomach and back at the same time. "How far along are you?" The doctor asks. She's a pretty doctor – young, in my opinion – with pink scrubs, a white jacket and blonde hair twisted into a tight bun on the top of her head.

"Twelve or thirteen weeks." I tell her between clenched teeth.

She types a few things into the computer and then the nurse comes back with a needle. _Ugh_. "We're going to do a blood test and see what's going on, okay?" Her voice is annoyingly perky and she flashes me a bright smile. I nod.

I'm forced to sit in the little space while the blood work is sent to the lab. Thankfully Tobias comes back into the little makeshift room.

It takes about half an hour for the doctor to come back and when she does, my heart sinks as soon as she opens the curtain and I see her face. "I'm so sorry…" She starts and I clasp my hand over my mouth, stifling a sob. "It was a missed miscarriage." Heavy sobs start to take over my body. Tobias cusses and his head drops into his hands. And then he moves to my side and pulls me into his side, keeping his arm tightly around me. "I am so sorry." The doctor apologizes again and I hate her for apologizing.

She leaves to give us some privacy and I can't stop crying. I bury my face in Tobias's chest and his arms wrap around me, holding me.

It takes me awhile to cry myself out, and eventually I'm just sniffling and hiccupping. My hold on Tobias's sweater loosens and my hands drop, limp, to my lap. Sometime while I was crying, the nurse had showed up to explain what would happen from here and what I should expect and then she left with an apologetic look.

"I want to go home." I mumble to Tobias, my voice close to a whisper.

He agrees and gives me privacy to change out of the hospital gown and into my pajamas from earlier – Tobias had done his best to clean my pants and my chest tightened. He really loved me and I lost his child.

I still didn't understand how this happened. I had followed every order my doctor had given me, including what foods and drinks to avoid. I didn't eat anything that could hurt the baby and I didn't drink or smoke. There wasn't anything that I did that could hurt the baby. Nothing.

But what if…what if this happened because I wasn't entirely happy with the pregnancy right away? What if I jinxed it?

I feel too drained to cry, too numb. Once I'm dressed I open the curtain and Tobias takes my hand, leading me out of the hospital. There's a car waiting for us and I climb in after Tobias. We're quiet the entire ride back to his apartment.

Once we're back in the apartment, I stand in the foyer, my arms crossed over my chest. I jump at the feel of Tobias's hand against my lower back. "Do you want to shower?" He asks softly. I should shower, I probably need one. But I can't move, I'm frozen to my spot. "Tris?" Tobias steps in front of me, looking down at me.

"I did this…" I whisper, staring over his shoulder. I can't look at him, I feel too guilty. "I jinxed this. I was too doubtful. I made this happen." My voice cracks and my eyes burn with tears. "I killed our baby." I cover my mouth with my hands, a strangled sound escaping my throat.

"Shit, Tris." Tobias folds me into his arms and I press my face into his chest. "This isn't your fault, Tris. This happens to a lot of women."

He tightens his hold on me, kissing the top of my head, and he stands there, letting me cry into his chest until I'm worn out. I don't know how long it took, but he held me and didn't say anything and didn't try to get me to say anything.

Once I cried myself out, he hooked one arm under my legs and the other around my shoulders, lifting me up and carrying me towards the bedroom. He places my feet on the floor and opens one of the dresser drawers, pulling out a clean pair of my sweatpants and then hands them to me.

I change without really thinking about what I'm doing and then he's taking my hand and pulling me towards the living room. He sits me down on the couch and then disappears into the bedroom again.

He returns with two pillows and blankets. I'm thankful he's not making me sleep in the bed. There's still blood on the bedsheets and I don't want to think about that. I don't even know if I want to sleep tonight.

Tobias is quiet the entire time he makes up the makeshift beds and that worries me. It worries me that he's angry with me for tonight.

When he lays down under the covers on one end of the couch, I look over at him, frowning. "Please don't be mad at me…" I plead, my voice barely an octave above a whisper. "I'm sorry…"

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Tris, why would I be mad at you? None of this is your fault."

I crawl up the edge of the couch, along his body, until I can curl up against his side. He wraps one arm around my shoulders to keep me from falling off the couch, turning on his side to make more room for me. He also tosses the covers over me so we're both under them.

My chest aches and I feel more exhausted than I thought. My stomach's knotted with guilt and dread and I'm worried that Tobias really is mad at me, even if he's denying it. I would be mad at me right now. "I love you…" I whisper to him as he falls asleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

A week went by and the most I did during the day was leave my bed to go to the bathroom. Other than that, I would stay in bed and I didn't talk to anyone. I couldn't. I was too numb to cry and I was too full of guilt to talk to Tobias or even Christina.

Christina had tried multiple times the first few days to get me to do small things, like move to the living room to watch a movie or even go down and get the mail. I couldn't move. Some nights she would climb into my bed with me and just lay there, not talking or saying anything. She just stayed there for me, in case I needed her. The first two nights I would curl up into her side and cry until I fell asleep.

Tobias…Tobias was a different story. A difficult one. He's been busy lately with practice and games – the team was trying to move up in the playoffs spot. They were close to having a secured spot in the playoffs, they just had to keep up the wins.

But when he wasn't practicing, he was at my apartment. He was basically acting as a housekeeper – he would make sure I had clean laundry and if Christina wasn't home, he would make sure that I had food to eat and he made sure that I showered regularly. He also tried to talk to me and get me to tell him how I was feeling or if I needed anything or what show I wanted to watch.

I could see what my silence was doing to him. He was frustrated and it showed in the way he clenched his jaw after I refused to answer his many questions, and in the way he would toss a pillow onto his side of the bed.

What I was doing was terrible, I knew that. But I couldn't help it. I was just wracked with guilt.

My baby had died; _Tobias's baby_ had died.

Because of something that I did or any of the thoughts that I had. Those first few weeks, all the doubt and worry and fear! I didn't even tell my parents that I had been pregnant and right now, I just wanted my mom. I wanted to tell her everything and have her here to comfort me. To tell me something, anything, that'll comfort me.

One day, about two weeks after the miscarriage, I was lying in bed. I had just finished writing a short article for work – Max had given me an extended vacation after I gave him a quick rundown of what was happening, and he told me if I wrote one article every other week, I could take all the time I needed – when there was a soft knock against my bedroom door.

"What?" I croaked out, feeling irritated.

The door creaked open and my Mom poked her head in. "Can I come in?" She asked softly.

"What…what are you doing here?" I sit up in bed, bunching my comforter up around my stomach.

My mom gives me a soft smile and then makes her way over to my bed, taking a seat by my legs. "Tobias called me. He said that you were upset and that he was worried about you." Her lips turn down in a frown and she reaches her hand out to brush a strand of hair out of my face. "What's wrong, honey?"

I shake my head, twisting my fingers together in my lap. "I don't want to talk about it." There's a hint of an attitude in my voice and it isn't aimed at her – it's aimed at Tobias. Why didn't he warn me?

"Beatrice," My mother sighs. "Something is obviously wrong and you need to talk about it. Whatever it is, I won't judge you or get angry. Just tell me."

Sighing, I look at her. "I…had…I had a miscarriage."

My mom stares at me for a few moments, a spectrum of emotions flitting across her face from confusion to anger to worry. Her mouth is opened, like she wants to speak but no words come out. For once, my mother is speechless.

"Mom…" I almost whine – worried that she's disappointed with me.

And then she's pulling me into her, pressing my face into her shoulder in a warm hug. I sag against her in relief and feel tears starting to well up in my eyes. "Oh, Beatrice. Why didn't you tell me that you were pregnant?"

"Because I'm not married and didn't want you to be disappointed in me." I mumble into her shoulder.

She "tsks" at me and shakes her head, rubbing my back. "Oh, sweetie. I wouldn't be mad. This is your life and you are free to make any of your own decisions. You're an adult, I'm not in charge of you anymore. But I am disappointed that you never told me! Oh, Beatrice." She suddenly pushes me back to look at me again. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through this. I know you must be in pain."

I nod. "I feel like it's my fault," My voice catches and I'm prepared to start crying. "I kept doubting myself and my ability to be a good parent and I wasn't comfortable with being pregnant until two weeks before I…before I lost my baby."

My mom brushes a strand of hair out of my face, brushing it behind my ear and then resting her hand against my cheek. "It is not your fault – it happens to a lot of women. It's something that happens and it's terrible. But honey, you need to let people in. You can't keep Christina out and you most certainly can't keep out Tobias – the baby was his as much as it was yours."

She was right and I knew that she was right. But my first instinct was to push the two of them away because they didn't need to be hurting the way I was hurting.

She stayed for a little bit longer, having to run a few errands, but she reminded me to talk to Tobias and Christina as she was heading out the door.

I shut the door behind her and turned, pressing my back against the door and running my hands down my face. They unconsciously dropped to my stomach, almost back to how flat it was before the pregnancy, and I felt my throat constrict.

No. No more crying.

Looking around the living room, I'm annoyed to find it a mess – there's a bundle of blankets on the couch and pillows tossed on the floor. Mail was scattered on the coffee table and on the kitchen counter.

I start at the couch, folding the blankets and putting them in the small hall closet, and place the pillows where they're supposed to be. Then I go through the mail, tossing junk mail and then going through some of the bills and other semi-important mail.

The front door opens, startling me and causing the mail to drop from my hands. "Dammit!" I groan and start to reorganize the mail.

"Tris?" Tobias drops his keys on the counter, looking surprised to see my up and cleaning. "What are you doing?"

I hold up an envelope. "Nobody's gone through the mail in a while and it's a mess and it was bugging me."

He blinks a few times, staring at me.

And then I narrow my eyes at him. "You called my mother on me." I accuse, angry. "You called my mom! You forced me to tell her about the pregnancy!" I slam the mail down on the table, startling myself.

"You've been miserable for the past two weeks! You weren't talking to me or to Christina! I was worried, I didn't know what to do or say to you! You have no reason to be pissed at me for calling your mother. I did what I needed to and apparently, it helped, because you're out of bed and communicating and not being miserable!"

"I was hurting…" I murmur, glaring at the mail.

"And you don't think I was?!" He yells. "God, I have been hurting, Tris. Maybe not as much as you, but pretty damn close. I wasn't hurting just because we lost our baby, I was hurting because you shut me out and I was terrified that I did something, that I was a constant reminder of what we lost."

I'm twisting the ring around my ring finger, letting my anger simmer down. With tears in my eyes, I take the ring off and clench it in my hand. He asked me to marry him because we were having a baby together.

Would he have asked me to marry him if I didn't get pregnant? Probably not.

I push myself to my feet and, keeping my head down, make my way over to where he's standing with clenched fists. "I need time." I say as I press the ring into his hand after uncurling his fingers. "Just…I need time."

"Tris…" His voice is soft, pleading.

Shaking my head, I wrap my arms tightly around myself. "Please, Tobias. Just…give me a bit."

Tobias looks at me, his blue eyes wide and full of pain. After a few moments, he stuffs the ring into my pant pocket, grabs his keys and then leaves, slamming the door behind him on his way out.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Life went on as normally as possible. I went back to work, although Max only wanted me to come in twice a week for a bit. He still believed I should be taking time off. Christina was happy that I was talking to her again and that I was being a relatively productive member of society.

Monday morning, I went into work for a few hours and then, at Max's request, head into his office to let him know that I was going home and would be back on Thursday to drop off my next article.

Tobias had stayed true to his word and was giving me my space. He hadn't texted or called me and I had stayed away from his games, as much as it killed me. Although, I still had a habit of turning the NHL Network on whenever he had a game, putting it on as background noise.

And I hated myself for it, because the last few games Tobias hadn't been doing so well. The team had fallen back a little bit, losing the past two out of four games.

The commentators were arguing amongst themselves, trying to figure out what was up with Tobias and why he suddenly seemed too distracted to pay attention to the game. Why he his game was suddenly off – was the sophomore slump already happening? Was the Blackhawks chance at a playoffs spot in trouble?

And then on Wednesday night, rivalry night, the team had suffered a 5-0 loss to the Anaheim Ducks and I had kept the game on, watching the locker room interviews after the game.

Tobias was being interviewed and looked angrier than I have ever seen him. His jaw was tight and he was glaring at the floor, his hands gripping a white towel tightly. I hadn't caught the question that someone asked him, but he was suddenly on his feet and lunging towards one of the reporters. Thankfully two of his teammates had stepped in and were holding him back, along with a few security guards trying to usher the reporters out of the locker room. Everyone had chalked up his reaction simply to the embarrassing loss and stress of the upcoming post-season.

But I knew the real reason and I felt my stomach twist. I quickly shut the game off as soon as Christina arrived back home and head to bed.

Thursday, I go into work, drop off my article on Max's desk and then head out. I stop by a small bakery on my way home to pick up a sandwich and some coffee.

That night the Blackhawks were facing off against the Pittsburgh Penguins (if they won, they would be going to the playoffs and if they lost, they were out) and Christina was having a handful of people over to watch the game on TV. I spent the rest of the day preparing some snacks and appetizers with Christina, who chatted happily about a recent client that had tipped her amazingly well for her job well done with the client's wedding.

"I mean…it was an expensive wedding and it seemed like they had money to spare, but the bride's parents were really happy with it and insisted on tipping me extra."

I smile, taking extra care to line up the cucumbers in a neat little row. "I mean, you're amazing at what you do. I'm surprised more people haven't tipped you."

"Speaking of which," She stops arranging crackers to look at me. "You're going to let me do your wedding, right?"

Sighing, I turn back to lining up the vegetables on a tray. "Chris, you know that we're taking a small break. I need space."

"Okay, but needing space doesn't mean having to break off an engagement."

"I didn't break off the engagement because I wanted space." I didn't even want to break off the engagement but to me, it just didn't feel right wearing the ring if we weren't talking.

Christina places a hand on her hip, looking irritated. "Then why?"

Shrugging, I stop arranging the vegetables and turn to lean against the fridge, my back pressed against the side. "Because…he just wanted to marry me because we were going to have a kid and he probably thought it was the only proper thing to do."

"That's such a bullshit excuse and you know it. He really loves you and he didn't just propose because you were pregnant."

I shake my head, crossing my arms tightly across my chest. "That's not…no. It's not an excuse."

She sighs, and rubs the bridge of her nose. "He bought the ring for you a week after you two started dating again, Tris." My mouth pops open with an audible gasp and I stare at her, confused and in disbelief. "When he came to me, before he proposed to you, he told me that he bought the ring the week after you two started dating. He said he had been stupid to dump you in college and that he wasn't going to lose you again."

Oh my God. Tobias had bought me the ring _months_ ago? He's had the ring on him for months? Ugh.

He was all in. He had been all in since the very beginning and I just…I haven't been all in. Not until recently.

The baby didn't change his mind, maybe moved up the proposal by a few months, but he was always planning on asking me to marry him.

Christina's scowl softens and her voice is lower. "Why do you think I kept pushing you to actually date him and not just sleep with him? I knew how much he loved you and I wanted you to be happy. Just talk to him. Don't shut him out because you've seen how he's reacted to losing both you and the baby." I know she's talking about the locker room freak out. She saw it. "And I've seen how you've reacted to losing him and I love you, Tris. You're my best friend – my sister – and I can't see you go through that pain again."

And then the doorbell rang and Christina tossed the towel she was holding onto the counter, going to open the door.

Will and Al were the first to arrive and they greeted me with careful smiles, heading to take a seat on the couch. Marlene and Uriah were next to arrive and they were happy to be included in tonight, but Uriah kept making side comments about how the game would be better if we were there in person.

I know he wasn't trying to aim them at me, but it made me feel guilty each time he said something.

By the time the game started, everyone was seated – Will, Christina and I were sitting on the couch, while everyone else were seated around the room, whether it be on the floor or having taken a chair from the kitchen table – and the food was sitting on the coffee table and everyone had something to drink.

I had a glass of wine, drinking it slowly. I still felt like I wasn't supposed to be drinking. But I could.

The game started off slowly, both teams having plenty of chances to score but both goalies were impressive and doing their best. There were a couple of good hits and bad calls, but the game remained scoreless through the first period. When the second period started, it only took a minute and a half for the Penguins to score, a loud groan coming from the Chicago crowd. The Penguins' lead caused the Blackhawks to become angry and they clearly stepped up their game, forcing the Penguins to play as hard as they could.

And then Tobias was out on the ice for his fourth shift of the game. I followed his number the entire time, staying focused on him, and watching as he takes position to the right of the Blackhawks' goalie, ready to deflect any shot that tries to get past the goalie.

And then suddenly number 87 from the Penguins, Crosby, is flying into the goalie and they both get knocked over. Every fan in the arena is on their feet, yelling at the refs to make a call. And Tobias is rushing towards Crosby, gloves already off and stick behind him on the ice. He basically tackles the Penguins' captain and then they're both hitting each other, going as hard as they can.

The refs are trying to pry them off each other, but they're having trouble and the boisterous crowd isn't helping either – egging them both on. A few of the players on the ice finally manage to yank the two of them apart.

Everyone back in our apartment are on their feet and I'm barely aware of Christina's hand gripping my hand tightly as the cameras zoom in on Tobias's face – there are a few obvious cuts and he's bleeding and is slow while making his way off the ice. "Christina…" I whisper, worry and fear gripping me like a vise.

There's some talk between the Blackhawks' captain, the Penguins' assistant captain and the refs. Both Tobias and Crosby were tossed out, but the commentators keep saying that they may be returning after a five-minute penalty for both.

"Christina…" I say again, still panicked.

Looking at Christina, I try to decipher how long it'll take me to get to the stadium. It's only a few minutes from our apartment, but then there's traffic…

I'm throwing on my shoes and a jacket, running out the door and hailing a cab. After telling the driver to take me to the stadium, it only takes fifteen minutes to get there and through the door. One of the security guards remembers me and lets me in with no questions. He even tells me that Tobias is still being seen by the team doctor.

One of the security guards lets me in to the locker room, giving me a small smile and nodding his head in acknowledgment.

I can hear voices coming from down the short hallway and I make my way towards them. Tobias is sitting on top of flat table, the team doctor wiping at the cuts. Tobias is arguing with him and trying to get off the table and head back out, but the doctor isn't having it.

"You can always just knock him out." I comment, crossing my arms over my chest. Both of their heads snap up and look in my direction, surprised by my presence.

"Tris…ow!" He winces as the doctor goes back to wiping the blood. He glares at the doctor before looking back at me. "What are you doing here?"

I watch silently as the doctor finishes patching him up and then he leaves, giving us some privacy. "You promised you wouldn't give me another heart attack after the last time." My voice is soft, worried about his reaction. I move closer to him, so that we're at arms' length. "And then you go and do this."

He shakes his head, wiping the visor on his helmet with a towel. "Yeah, well, I didn't really think you'd care."

"So you went ahead and beat the shit out of someone? Seriously, Tobias?" I groan, running a hand through my hair, irritated.

Tobias looks at me, narrowing his eyes. "Why are you here?"

"Because I still love you and I still watch your games because I still love you and wanted to make sure that something like this didn't happen." I slap his shoulder, hitting the shoulder pad – the slap hurt me more than him. "You're an idiot for fighting him!"

He winces like the slap hurt and then the anger in his face shifts and it's closer to guilt and embarrassment. "I've been a mess lately." He confesses, placing his helmet behind him on the table. "I just…I snapped and I've just missed you, Tris. God, I have missed you and it's been throwing my game off because I've been too busy worrying about you."

His hand reaches out and grabs mine, squeezing it tightly. I stare down at our hands. "Christina told me about the ring – how you bought it the week after we got back together."

"Tris…" He starts to speak, but I just shake my head.

"Tobias, I am…so sorry about all of this." My voice cracks at the same time the tears start to pool in my eyes. "I treated you so badly this past month and I just…I hate myself for it. And I hate that I've been so uncertain about this – us. You've been all in this entire time and I've been vacant."

He jumps down from the table and looks down at me – he's even taller than me in his skates and if I wasn't crying, this would be comical. "It's okay because I know how you feel about me. I know that you love me and that your first instinct is to push people away when you get hurt – it's how you've always been. And I don't hate you for it."

He bends down to press his lips to mine and I twist my hands in his jersey, pulling myself closer to him. There's a distant sound of a buzzer going off and I know that soon the rest of the team is going to be filing into the locker room.

"You need to go back out there."

"I have a five-minute penalty; I'm going to be in the box for the first five minutes of the last period." He sighs, frowning and glancing up at the flat screen TV hanging on the wall behind him. "And we're down by two, so we're still going to lose."

I give him a half smile, and reach for his helmet and hand it to him. "Well, after you're done in time-out," he chuckles at the bad joke "you will get back out on the ice and do your best."

He gives me a swift kiss and I'm hurrying out of the locker room as the team starts to file in, most of them frustrated and angry.

I text Christina to tell her I'll be home later and that everything's okay and I stand outside of the locker room, until the intermission is over and the team heads back out on the ice for the last period. I shoot Tobias an encouraging look as he heads out of the tunnel.

I follow behind the head coach, but remain at the end of the tunnel – where the ice crew is standing a few other of the girlfriends and wives of the players are standing. A few of them greet me with surprise.

The feeling in the arena was a little depressing – most people weren't very hopeful and the few people who were, still didn't look too happy.

Tobias was stuck in the penalty the first five minutes and I could see him turning to face the Penguins' penalty box, mouthing a few choice words to Crosby. He may have felt bad about suddenly snapping, but he still didn't like the Penguins' captain.

And then suddenly, his five minutes were up and he was flying out of the penalty box and back onto the ice. His speed surprised a few guys, but then they made sure to target him. I watched nervously as a few guys tried to take him down, but he continued to remain standing- and then he snatched the puck away and was flying down the ice, past the Penguins' defensemen. Everyone was on their feet, screaming and cheering him on – and he shot the puck into the back of the net. The goal horn sounded and everyone was screaming and cheering, including myself. His teammates surrounded him in a hug and then he skated back to the bench, pure joy etched on his face. He was back.

The Blackhawks were still down by one, but there was ten minutes left and they were putting the pressure on the Penguins' goalie, barely giving him any time to breathe or think before they were chucking pucks his way again.

And then on Tobias's next shift, he knocked Malkin over and snatched the puck from him, passing it down ice to Kane who shot it top-shelf and tied the game up. The arena erupted into cheers again and everyone's spirits were lifted, the feeling in the arena so much better. There was a chance. Three minutes to go and people were louder than they've been all night.

Tobias was on fire and people were, once again, cheering for him. He was out on the ice again and was the center for the face-off. The puck dropped and it didn't move too far from the neutral zone for a minute and a half.

And then Tobias got lucky in the last minute of play and got the puck away and was once again charging down the ice. Pittsburgh's goalie was ready for him, positioned and ready to catch the puck. But Tobias faked him out and, instead of shooting to the left like the goalie predicted, he shot it up high and the goalie fell forward, unable to stop it.

The crowd was on their feet, cheering and high-fiving each other. They had come back from a 2-1 deficit in the matter of fifteen minutes and they were in the lead with only forty seconds left.

The clock ticked down, Pittsburgh pulled their goalie for an extra man on the ice, Chicago scored another goal with the empty net and then it was over. The game was over and they were going to the playoffs. They bounced back and Tobias had been a major part in it. My chest filled with pride as I watched the entire Chicago team hop over the boards and dog pile on top of their goalie.

I backed up as the team came off the ice and as soon as Tobias stepped off the ice, he lifted me up in a hug. I squealed and gripped onto his sweaty jersey, ignoring the stench coming off him.

"We won!" He yells happily, placing me back down on my feet. The remaining fans are still cheering and Tobias is wearing a large grin. "We're going to the playoffs!"

I grip his forearms, steadying myself and he's so happy. "Go get changed." I smile, shoving him towards the locker room.

Once he's gone, I head into the hallway to wait for him to get dressed. I'm leaning up against the wall when my phone starts to ring. It's Christina. "I don't know what you did but whatever it was – it worked! The Blackhawks are going to the playoffs!" There's cheering in the background on her end and I'm sure the guys are excited.

"I know, I saw the end of the game. Listen, I'm waiting for Tobias and I'm not completely sure what we're going to do after he gets out, but don't wait up for me."

She dramatically gasps and I want to hit her. "Did Beatrice Prior _apologize_?"

"Go to bed, Chris. You're drunk." I chuckle and hang up the phone.

Tobias is just as cheerful leaving the locker room as he was coming off the ice, and he envelops me in another bone-crushing hug. "You're going to have to come to the playoff games, ya know. You're my good luck charm."

I roll my eyes, but wrap my arms around him. I feel happier right now than I have in a bit and it's nice. I know that we still should talk about some things, but right now, it's nice to be in a celebratory mood for once. And I don't want it to end. I don't want Tobias to ever be angry or upset again. And I definitely don't want to be the cause behind it.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Tobias was in too good of a mood that night to spoil it by talking. We needed to talk about things, but he was so happy that I would never forgive myself for taking that happiness away.

After we left the arena, we walked to Tobias's car and he opened the door for me and then hurried over to his side. The drive back to his apartment was sort of quiet, the most sound coming from Tobias's humming along to the radio, and he held my hand the entire drive back.

When we're back at his apartment, he heads straight for the shower and I wander over to the couch while he's gone. I kick off my shoes and pull my legs up under me, pretzel style, and turn the TV on. The television is still on ESPN and the reporters are talking about tonight's game with the Blackhawks and Penguins. They start to discuss the terrible first period, then Tobias's fight. One of the men starts to talk, cutting the other three guys off. "But then Eaton bounces back after he serves his penalty and it's like he can't get enough time on the ice! It's incredible the way he flew out of the penalty box to score a goal. Whatever went on in the locker room after he was escorted off the ice, it needs to happen more often because this guy may be able to lift the cup in his first year in the NHL."

"Even the experts think you're my good luck charm." Tobias is suddenly behind the couch, startling me. He's smirking and the cuts on his face from the fight still look bad.

"Are you sure you're okay?" I ask, referencing his injuries, as he sits down next to me and pulls me onto his lap. One of his arms wrap tightly around my waist and the other brushes a strand of hair out of my face. My fingers brush lightly against the cuts.

He nods, still smirking. "I'm more than fine. I've never been happier."

And then he's kissing me and I melt against him, losing myself in him. His lips are strong against mine, but it's slow and sensual and warms me from the inside out. "Tobias…" I whisper when he pulls away to take a breath.

He must have heard the tone of my voice because he starts to shake his head. "No. Look, I know we should talk and we will, I swear that we will, but right now…God, I am just so happy that we're going to the playoffs and that you're here with me and talking to me and not shutting me out. I'm just so goddamn happy and just want to be happy with you for a few moments more before the fighting starts."

I shrug, placing my legs on either side of his thighs and wrapping my arms around his neck. "There doesn't have to be fighting…" I murmur.

Tobias quirks an eyebrow at me, both his hands resting on the sides of my thighs. "So…no fighting?"

I shake my head. "No. No fighting. I don't want to fight with you anymore – at least not about…what happened. Neither of us could have controlled what happened or changed what happened. There's no reason that we need to fight." He smiles and I narrow my eyes at him. "Well, except for that fight you got into."

His smile drops and his shoulders hunch over slightly, and he holds his head in shame. "I know, but on the bright side – I kicked his ass."

I roll my eyes and fight the urge to smile at him. I hated to admit it, as much as him fighting scared the shit out of me, it was kind of hot. "But you got hurt and if you had been seriously injured it would've killed me."

"I'm sorry." He apologizes. "And since we're not fighting…there's a party tomorrow, for making the playoffs. Do you want to go?" He looks excited again, the joy over winning returning. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to. But it's the whole team and it may be the only celebrating we're doing for the playoffs."

Rolling my eyes again, I laugh. "I'll go with you."

His lips are, once again, on mine and his hands are sliding up my thighs, to my waist and pulling me as close to him as physically possible.

After a few minutes of just making out, Tobias pulls away and takes a deep breath, a smirk playing on his face. "As much fun as I'm currently having, I'm exhausted and really need some sleep."

I get to my feet and hold my hand out to him. He looks surprised for a second, like he didn't expect me to spend the night, but then stands up and takes my hand.

Tobias changes into a pair of maroon flannel pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt, tossing me a t-shirt from his drawer. I pull his shirt on over my head, ignoring the way he stares at my bare legs, and then climb under his covers.

A moment of panic sets in – the last time I was in his bed was a terrible night – but then he's sliding in next to me and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his chest.

The next day, neither of us wake up until noon. It felt good to sleep in late, it was something I hadn't done in a while. Even after we woke up, we still didn't move from bed. Tobias said that we needed to leave by five for the party, so we lounged in bed until about three after which Tobias got dressed and ready and then we headed to my apartment so I could get some clothes and get ready.

I changed into a pair of dark blue jeans with black riding boots that came up to my knee and then I threw on an army green blouse with bell sleeves. I kept my hair down, running a brush through it and then applying pale pink lipstick and some mascara.

We headed into the center of Chicago, into a fancy hi-rise apartment building. As soon as Tobias and I stepped off the elevator we could hear the music pounding through the walls, and once we stepped into the apartment – owned by the Blackhawks' goalie, Corey Crawford – the music was louder and people were laughing and drinking all around the spacious apartment.

Back in college, I had always been so nervous to go to parties with Tobias and his hockey team. But now, I was used to it and felt comfortable at the party – so long as Tobias stayed with me. It also helped that I knew a few of the girlfriends and wives of the players and considered they weren't all that terrible to hang out with.

Everyone cheered when they noticed Tobias come in and his team surrounded him, slapping him on the back and bragging about what the game the night before.

"This party wouldn't be possible if it weren't for you!" Crawford cheered loudly, his Canadian accent seeming to have thickened with alcohol. The crowded room seemed to agree with him and cheered, raising their drinks to Tobias.

I looked up at Tobias, unable to ignore his reaction. He was beaming – and it wasn't just out of pride for himself, he looked so proud when he started to talk about the team and their efforts and for letting him into their family, about how he never would have been able to get this far if it weren't for their help and their dedication to the team and making the team work as one unit.

The rest of the night was spent walking around the party, talking to different people, eating and drinking. It took me a bit to notice, but I realized Tobias hadn't had any alcohol to drink. I, on the other hand, was happily taking advantage of the free alcohol – expensive alcohol, that is.

Tobias was preoccupied with his teammates and a few other people so I ended up hanging around the players' wives and girlfriends. But after some of the party-goers started to clear out, I made my way back over to Tobias.

"…We're facing off against Arizona for the first round. It should be easy; their goalie has big weak spots and their defense sucks. I don't even know how they made it into the playoffs." One of the guys said, sounding enthusiastic.

Tobias nodded, barely noticing my arrival. "They clinched the spot because Tampa Bay lost their last game. They were tied for points."

His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me into his side, while he continues his conversation. They all talk about team rankings and who's facing who – how the final might turn out. They're all hoping to make it to the final round, but the second round is either against the Washington Capitals or the New York Rangers. They're betting more on the Capitals, as they're the top ranked team in the NHL and the Rangers just barely made it into the playoffs.

"And it seems like Tris is your good luck charm, Tobias." One of the other players, I don't recognize him, winks at me.

Tobias looks down at me. "Are you ready to go?" He asks and I nod. He says goodbye to all his teammates and then we're heading out. The car ride is quiet, both of us tired from the long party.

Once we're back at his apartment, I make my way over towards the couch and collapse onto it, face first. "I'm so tired." I mumble into the couch cushions. I hear Tobias laugh and then the couch shifts where he sits down.

"Come on, let's go to bed." His hand rubs my back.

Shaking my head, I turn my face to look at him. "I'm too tired." I whine, pouting.

"I know from experience that the couch is not a very comfortable place to sleep for an entire night – especially in jeans."

Still pouting, I stand up and let him pull me towards the bedroom. He rummages through his drawers and tosses me a t-shirt. I change out of my party clothes and into his t-shirt, climbing under the covers of his bed.

"Thank you for coming with me tonight." Tobias says, climbing into bed next to me. He lays on his side, propping his head up with the palm of his hand and looks down at me.

I smile at him, my eyelids feeling heavy. "It was…fun." I shrug.

He laughs, pushing a strand of hair out of my face with his free hand. "I know it wasn't your ideal party, but I'm happy you came. And a lot of my teammates really like you – Panarin isn't the only one who thinks you're my good luck charm."

"If I'm going to go to all your playoff games, you know I'm going to need tickets for Will and Christina, right?" I joke. "Will was pissed when we were on a break."

Tobias sighs, his full smile turning into a half smile. "Speaking of which…that's still something we need to talk about."

I shake my head. "No, we already talked about it. I messed up and I was stupid and I have a big problem of pushing people I love away when I'm hurting. It's not going to happen again. I can't lose you…I can't lose anyone else I love." My throat feels tight and Tobias is pulling me into his chest, squeezing me tightly.

"You won't lose me. I promise." He says and then kisses the top of my head.

* * *

 _AHHHH! Okay, you guys, I am SO SORRY that this was posted so late and that it's so short. It's the end of the semester, I'm drowning in papers and projects and studying, I've been looking for a second job and have just been too stressed to write anything. But it is posted and the last chapter was not the last chapter (chapter 15 will be the last chapter)!_


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

God, hockey was stressful. Like…pulling your hair out by the roots, kicking over any and every chair in your vicinity and screaming at the top of your lungs stressful.

If I was stressing out, I really couldn't imagine how stressed out Tobias was. I mean, sure, I was rooting for him to win and hoping for the best with the team, but he was the one playing. He was the one on the ice, the one a lot of people – like…half of Chicago – was rooting for. He was the one who would be facing the consequences if he didn't play well.

But I was stressing out for both of us.

The first round of the playoffs was against the Arizona Coyotes and I had been following along with the team to every game. A team had to win three games to move on to the next round. The first game was in Chicago and I was in the usual suite with Christina and Will, gaping at how packed it was in the arena.

Chicago was off to a good start, managing to keep the puck in the offensive zone and away from their own goalie. There were a few good shots on goal, but nothing that went in.

It was frustrating and stressful and I started stress-drinking.

Arizona got the first goal in the second period, but Chicago quickly followed up not too long after that and then capitalized on the tied game, scoring another two goals in the span of three minutes. Neither teams produced any more goals after that and so when the horn sounded, ending the game, the Blackhawks all jumped over the boards to surround their goalie after their first win. One down and two to go.

I had been worried about taking time off work for the playoffs, but Max seemed to be happy to let me go to the games – so long as I managed to keep up with the articles. He said my articles had improved and were gaining popularity on the website.

The second game in Arizona had an entirely different atmosphere. There were very few Blackhawks fans in the audience, which was to be expected, and the team was booed by the crowd when they made their way onto the ice.

Unfortunately for me, my usual company of Christina and Will were unable to accompany me on the road trip so I was left to the company of the wives and girlfriends of the players.

Honestly…I didn't want to be cheering with them. Most of them constantly questioned me about if Tobias and I were still engaged or what our relationship was like right now.

It was annoying and just something to add on to the stress of the playoffs.

Chicago took the second game, which meant that we just had one more game to go and then we would be going on to the next round.

Tobias was too excited to be tired when we returned home from Arizona. "We should go out to dinner." He suggests as soon as we step into his apartment.

I smirk, chuckling. "We just got back and I'm exhausted from travelling."

"Come on." He begs, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me against him. "We're one win away from moving on to the second round, I'm excited and want to celebrate!" He sticks his bottom lip out, pouting.

"Fine." I surrender. "But at least let me go change. I don't think sweatpants are nice enough to go out in."

He gives me a quick peck and drops his arms, letting me go. I head into the bedroom and change into a pair of black skinny jeans, a white blouse with a denim jacket and a pair of tan booties. I run my brush through my hair and then gather my hair up into a ponytail and meet Tobias back out in the living room.

We head to a popular restaurant near Millennium Park and instantly, there are people greeting Tobias and wanting to get pictures with him – they're complimenting him on how well he's played and how he's going to single-handedly win the Stanley Cup.

He looks at little uncomfortable at that, but just continues to smile and act friendly.

"You don't seem to take their praise and compliments too well." I comment as we're seated at a table.

Tobias just shrugs. "Because it's not just me on the team. They all have their favorite players and the players they love to hate. If a game goes bad – they blame the players that they hate. If it goes well – they claim it was their favorite player. I'm not the only one working out on the ice and some people fail to remember that."

He sounds so humble and serious and it's oddly attractive. He knows how good of a player he is, he knows that he pretty much got them a playoffs spot, yet he's still humble.

God, I love him.

We manage to get through most of dinner uninterrupted, but as soon as our waiter clears the table, we're engulfed by a handful of college-aged kids who are all staring at Tobias like he's the newest, shiniest mustang. I wait patiently while they all chat and take pictures and then once they're done with that – two of the guys can't stop praising Tobias and it makes me laugh.

The restaurant was only a few blocks from Tobias's apartment so we decide to walk back instead of taking a cab, and make a detour through the park and towards the giant reflective bean surrounded by tourists.

Tobias talks about the next home game, which is in two days, and how he's confident in the team's ability to take the win.

We're halfway back to his apartment and he's run out of hockey-related things to talk about. "Hey, do you remember that house that you showed me…before?" He nods, confused. "What happened with that?"

He's taken by surprise and suddenly stops walking, earning a few glares from people behind us. "Why do you want to know?"

I shrug. "Because I really loved it and just wonder what you did with it."

"I didn't do anything with it…not unless you want me to?" He quirks an eyebrow, knowing I'm going to tell him that I really don't want him to do anything with it.

Shaking my head, I smile at him. "I loved it – I still love it. And I know how much you wanted us to move in there together…"

"Are you serious?" He gapes. "You still want to move in there with me?" When I nod, he sweeps me up into a bone-crushing hug and crushing his lips against mine.

The next game is a home game and so I get to go with Will and Christina again. I'm wearing the jersey Tobias gave me a while back and I let Christina do my makeup. "In case the cameras pan up to our suite." She winks and I just shake my head, letting her brush eyeshadow on my lids.

The energy in the United Center is amazing and I'm instantly hyper as soon as I walk in the front door and Christina is practically bouncing out of her shoes she's so excited.

We head up the escalator to the suite boxes and there's a handful of other familiar faces in the suite already and they're all in good spirits.

The excitement makes the game so much more interesting because the crowd can't keep quiet and are constantly cheering and chanting.

Both teams look exhausted, but Arizona looks more exhausted which is a huge gift for the Blackhawks – they score three goals by the end of the second period. Arizona managed to get one goal in at the beginning of the third period, but they didn't look like they were going to get any better after that. It was easy to see how annoyed Arizona was getting because the game started to get a lot more physical. Dirty hits were drawing penalties and some of the players started to get a little too pushy, almost as if they wanted a fight.

And then the Coyotes' captain was going after Tobias, dropping the gloves with him and I held my breath as I watched the two going at it – but Tobias ended up knocking him down with one right hook and Christina was suddenly cheering loudly next to me and I realized I was clapping and screaming along with her.

It was kind of hot seeing him deck the guy…

The game ended and everybody in the arena erupted into loud cheers. They were moving on to round two!

Christina, Will, and I headed down to the locker room to wait for Tobias and as soon as he's out, he scoops me up into a bone-crushing hug and I squeal, wrapping my arms tightly around him. "We're going to round two!" He shouts excitedly, beaming.

When he puts me down, I do a quick inventory to make sure he isn't hurt from the fight and am surprised to see that there isn't a scratch on him.

Will congratulates him on the win and they hug each other, slapping the other on the back. Christina pulls Will away before he has a chance to try and talk to any of the other players and they head out.

Tobias grabs my hand and we head out towards the parking lot. "You know I'm pissed at you for the fight, right?"

He laughs. "I figured you might be mad."

"You could've been seriously hurt!" I exclaim, as we reach his car. "The guy had a good six inches and fifty pounds on you!"

Tobias shrugs, tossing his bag in the trunk of the car. "He didn't hurt me and I won." He tries to defend himself and I just shake my head, climbing into the passenger's seat. "You have to admit it was a good fight – I had him on his ass in seconds."

I roll my eyes, but smile. "I guess it was kind of hot…" His only response is a snort and then he starts the car.

My favorite thing about the wins was seeing how happy Tobias was. He became a completely different person and I really liked seeing him like that. He was confident in himself and his team.

It also made dealing with him a lot easier.

When we were back at his apartment, we started to go over some of the plans for the new house – details about what to do with our bedroom and bathroom, what color the living room walls should be. He let me do most of the decision making, but he still had some input in and didn't throw a fit like he normally would.

I was just hoping that this good mood would continue through the rest of the playoffs.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Max was extremely excited about me skipping work to go to the games with Tobias. He told me it made for better content if I was at the games in person, instead of watching on the television. It didn't hurt that he was a huge Blackhawks fan and was one of the people who actually believed that I was good luck for Tobias.

"He's going to need you badly this round. The Dallas Stars are a feisty team – it's going to make for an interesting game." Max explained after briefing me on my next article.

Tobias was gone most of the day at practice, so I was usually left alone in the apartment. It wasn't that bad, it was just lonely.

I spent most of the day, after work, going through our plans for the new house and shopping online for furniture and home décor. My Mom had stopped by a few times to help with the plans – she was happy that we were moving closer to where her and my dad lived – and thankfully, she never asked about where my relationship with Tobias was. She knew we were back together and she didn't need to know more – at least, that's what she told me.

Practices started late these days, which usually meant that Tobias didn't get home until after dinner. Most of the time I was up when he got home, but sometimes – like tonight – he went out to dinner after practice and I would be asleep by the time he got home.

I had been working on a short article for Max and finished around eleven. I was tired and didn't want to move so I put a movie on the TV and stretched out along the sofa.

It felt like five minutes later when I hear the front door opening and then closing. "Tris?" I'm still half asleep when he walks around the couch and sits down next to where my head is. "You awake?"

"Hmm." Is all I manage to get out and he chuckles.

I shift so that my head is resting on his lap and he brushes his fingers through my hair. He doesn't speak for a long time and I'm close to falling asleep, reveling in the feel of his fingers brushing through my hair and then down my arm, raising goosebumps along my skin.

"Come on." He finally says, patting my arm. "Bed."

Groaning, I cover my face with my arms.

He laughs and stands up, pulling me up with him by my hands. "Let's go sleeping beauty." He pulls me towards the bedroom and I follow behind him, my feet dragging.

The next day is the first game of round two and it's a home game for Chicago. Tobias heads to the rink early, the team wanting to get a quick practice in before the game starts at two. I give him a quick kiss goodbye and then, after he leaves, I head out to stop by work and drop off an article for Max.

After that, I head back to the apartment to change into a pair of jeans and my jersey and then I go to meet up with Christina and Will.

The first game went smoothly and it ended with a win for the Blackhawks, 4 to 1. The team was in good spirits, hoping that this game was an indication of how the rest of the second round was going to go. The second game was in Dallas and I had convinced Christina to come along with me so that I didn't have to endure the players' girlfriends and wives alone – it wasn't that they were terrible, they just weren't the type of people I liked to hang out with. The second game, the Dallas Stars had stepped up their game and refused to let the Hawks keep a lead. If one team scored, the other team retaliated quickly – the game was a nail biter, by all accounts and I was extremely grateful to have endless food available so that I could stress eat. Unfortunately, the Stars had made a comeback and ended up taking game two.

Tobias was upset, but he knew that it wasn't possible to win every single game – especially in the playoffs. Thankfully, he wasn't as upset as I had expected him to be.

During the third game, I was sick with a stomach bug and ended up staying home. I still watched the game live on TV and managed to knock out two articles that I had been working on for a few weeks – they were both projects to try and convince Max to let me handle more important articles and not just cover sports.

The third game ended with the teams being tied at three each by the end of the third period, so it went into overtime. There were no goals scored in overtime so it went into a shootout.

The Blackhawks took the win for the night and Tobias returned home in a good mood and sat on the couch with me, watching movies until he eventually passed out from exhaustion.

While he slept, I continued to watch the movie that was playing and my thoughts drifted off, thinking about tonight's game. Everybody had said that I've been Tobias's good luck charm all season long and I thought that it was true. But he had won tonight…and I wasn't there. And I've been at the games for some of their losses.

I try to ignore the voice in my head, instead focusing on how close Tobias was to getting what he's really, really wanted.

If he wins the playoffs, it's going to open so many more doors for him and it's going to jump-start a promising career and that thought makes me feel a lot better – Tobias getting what he wants and what he deserves, and I'll be at his side.

Three days later, the Stars and Hawks face off once again – this time in Dallas. The Blackhawks had two wins and the Stars had one, so if Chicago won tonight then they would be going to the finals and if Dallas won…the round would be going back to Chicago to try for another win – which ended up happening.

Game four had gone into overtime and within a minute, Dallas had managed to score and take the win. Both teams were tied at two games each, which meant that whoever won game five would move on to the next round.

The loss didn't do too much for Tobias, his mood dropped slightly but he was still incredibly excited and confident.

Game five wasn't for another few days, which gave us some time to spend together (when he wasn't at practice, of course). It was nice, the quality time we got to spend together. I loved being on the road with him and getting to go to all his games, but he was normally too worn out after the games to go out and do anything, so it was a nice change of pace to be able to go out during the day with him.

It was the end of April and starting to warm up, so Tobias and I headed into the city to spend the day walking around.

Surprisingly, there were only two or three people who recognized Tobias, otherwise we had an uneventful day. We could walk around, stop at small shops, and have lunch uninterrupted. After lunch, we did some shopping – or, well, I did some shopping. Tobias just slumped around and complained a lot about how long I was taking.

Honestly…I was just trying to take up time to distract him.

"There's one more place we need to go." I informed Tobias as we climbed into a cab. I gave an address to the cab driver and Tobias gave me a confused look, while I just smiled.

We pull up outside of a large hotel and a doorman hurries to open the cab door. He takes the shopping bags from me and Tobias takes my hand when he gets out. "What are we doing here?" He asks and I just continue to smile.

Taking the bags from the doorman, I thank him and we head towards the elevator. "Did you get us a room?" He asks, looking down at me. I stare straight ahead at our reflections in the elevator doors and feel giddy. Tobias groans, frustrated, and I pull him off the elevator when the doors open.

Heading down the hall, I stop in front of our room and take the keycard from my back pocket and slide it into the lock.

The room wasn't huge, but it was one of the nicer hotels in the city. We had a full view of the city and the sunset, thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows along the furthest wall. There was a large bed, big enough for four people, with a cream-colored satin comforter and matching pillows piled on top.

I turn to face Tobias, dropping the bags on the floor, and he's never looked so confused or lost.

"I thought it would be nice to get out of the apartment." I explained, when the door shut behind us. "I know we've been spending a lot of time in hotels lately, but this time we have time to ourselves. There's nothing that either of us need to do and there's no stressors to think about. I've been a terrible girlfriend since we got together, before the whole…miscarriage thing. I wasn't as serious as I should have been about us. But I am and I want you to know that I am – I am all in, fully and completely. I love you and right now, I'm so proud of you and can't begin to express how lucky I am to be with you. I love you, Tobias, so much."

He stands still and silent for a few moments, staring at me. And then he steps forward, clasping his hands on either side of my face and crushing his lips against mine.

"I also wanted you to know…" I start, pulling away from him for a second to catch my breath. "that even if you lose the next game or lose the finals – I'm staying." I joke, smiling and his dark blue eyes brighten and he drops his head back and laughs.

"Well thank God for that." And then he's kissing me again and his hands move to my waist and I wrap my arms around the back of his neck, pulling myself to him.

* * *

 **I know that this is short and I'm really sorry, but if it went on for too much longer than it wouldn't have turned out as well as I would want it to. But, anyways, the next chapter is the last chapter of this story! I want to thank you guys for all of the amazing comments and feedback and to let you know that I have another story lined up, but won't be publishing it for a few weeks. I'm currently busy with work and spending time with friends and family.**

 **Happy Holidays!**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

It shouldn't have come as a surprise when the Blackhawks managed to snag game seven and come out on top – officially making their way into the Stanley Cup finals.

Yet…I was still in shock.

I mean, the team had done an amazing job throughout the season, but I still had prepared myself for a possible loss. I felt like a terrible person for it, but when I had talked to some of the other girlfriends and friends, they all said the same thing and it made me feel a little less guilty.

The final round consisted of the Blackhawks facing off against the New York Rangers. The first game would take place in New York and I was so excited to be able to travel with the team and maybe spend some time in NYC.

Christina could travel with me for the first game and we headed out two days before the first game to get some time to head into the city and explore.

When we touched down in NYC, Christina and I headed to the hotel while Tobias headed straight to the arena with the team to get a practice in.

After checking in, we headed into our rooms, deposited our bags, and then headed out to walk around the city while it was still light out – although, that didn't seem to matter. Christina and I went into a small café for dinner and when we came out, it was still bright even though it was past eight at night.

Looking around, I couldn't help but feel small. There were billboards bigger than some buildings, bright as day and advertising Broadway musicals or different stores – and all the stores were still opened and didn't look like they were going to close any time soon. People milled around, talking, and people-watching. Others looked like they were coming from work or heading to some fancy dinner. There were street performers every, what seemed like, twenty feet.

It was a completely different feel from Chicago and I was in love with it.

Back at the hotel, Christina headed to her room while I headed to my room. Tobias was lounging on the bed and watching the Sports Network, an empty plate of room service next to him on the table.

"Hey." I greet him, shutting the door behind me. I flop down onto the bed next to him and grin up at him. "Ready for tomorrow?"

He shrugs, muting the TV. "I guess, the team's really nervous – we almost lost the last game and I think it got to the team. Also…everybody is worn out and just really want to get this round over with."

"You'll be fine. You guys have this round in the bag." I reassure him.

I wasn't going to tell him about the research I did on the Rangers and how I watched highlights on their road to the final round of the playoffs and how I talked to several people to get their opinions on what was going to happen. I had never been so invested in a sport before, and I knew part of the reason was because Tobias was involved, but also…after a bit, it became interesting and I was enjoying the sport.

But, anyways, the Blackhawks' stats were a lot better than the Rangers' stats. And even if the Rangers could make it to the last round, both times had been by the skin of their teeth – they never won a game with more than one goal and both rounds they were forced to go into seven games. You could say that they were just lucky.

The Blackhawks' were a much better team overall and with their goalie and Tobias? I wouldn't be surprised if they won in three games.

Tobias sighs again, wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me to him. "I hope you're right." He says and then kisses the top of my head.

The day of the first game, Tobias is a nervous wreck. He wakes up early the morning of to head to the arena for a quick practice with the team. When he's back, he takes a quick shower and changes into a suit and tie and I can see his hands shaking nervously as he's fixing his tie. He heads down into one of the ballrooms where he's meeting with the team to talk strategy and then the team has lunch together.

Christina sits with me in my hotel room, ordering room service for lunch. We have the sports' channel playing in the background, listening to four guys discuss the upcoming game and occasionally showing clips of sports' bars back in Chicago that are clearly ready for the game.

Christina and I make our way to the arena around five, taking a cab, and as we're nearing the arena, it's clear to see how much this city loves their team – or at least their team that might win a championship. There are people all around us on the sidewalks in Rangers' jerseys and half of them are already drunk.

We're in a box, and just like the last few away games, we're with the families of the players.

The game starts off well for the Blackhawks' and it's easy to see how much the Rangers' are struggling – they give up three goals in the first twenty minutes. Chicago keeps the lead over the next period and then when the third period comes around, the Rangers manage to score one goal, twelve minutes in. Time's ticking away and I can't pry my eyes from the ice, squeezing Christina's hand tightly any time a Rangers' player shoots the puck towards the net. Thankfully, our goalie is on his game tonight and the clock ticks down to five minutes, then three, then one and then…

Chicago takes the first game.

Tobias's earlier nerves are completely gone after this game. He returns to the hotel room later that night, after a victory dinner with the team, and he looks worn out but happy.

I'm lying in bed when Tobias comes back, the TV playing some Lifetime movie, and he flops down next to me, loosening his tie. "We won." He says, smiling over at me.

"I told you." I smile back at him. "If you win the next game, you should throw the third game to bring it home to Chicago – win the cup in the city." It was a joke, but apparently, Tobias didn't think so.

He shakes his head. "We want to win all three games, not just to get the round over with quicker, but it would also be something that isn't done very often – a sweep in the final round of the playoffs." He's smiling again, smiling up at the ceiling. "It'd show that we're a better team." I laughed at his confidence…or you could call it cockiness, either way I wasn't going to try and ruin it for him.

Back in Chicago, after returning to work and handing in some of the articles that I wrote while away, Max is more than happy to let me know he's a huge fan of my boyfriend and wants to know if it'd be possible to have drinks with him after they win.

Half this city is in love with him and the thought makes me laugh. But then there's that little voice…the one that's reminding me there are hundreds of women, prettier women, that would happily throw themselves at Tobias if he were open to it. But he's not. He's with me and he's never so much as looked at another woman the way he looks at me. And it's a reassuring thought that effectively silences that little voice.

The second game of the finals starts just the same as the last one – except this time, the Blackhawks only manage to get two goals because of the Rangers' backup goalie, who seems to be a lot more aware than the other. When the third period starts, it's 2-1 Chicago and then eighteen minutes later, the Rangers tie it up and the game goes into overtime. It's three-on-three and the entire arena is on their feet, cheering and chanting, hoping to end this in five minutes. And it does – the Rangers manage to get one past Crawford and the Rangers take game two. One the bright side – if Chicago wins the next game, the finals come back to Chicago and there's a possibility of them lifting the cup in the city.

Back in New York, I'm left alone in the hotel room while Tobias is at practice. Christina couldn't make it, she was stuck with a client for a few days, so I didn't venture too far from the hotel while Tobias was gone.

Once again, I'm in the family box suite but I manage to sneak off into the lower section of the stands in the middle of the first period. It may be over-crowded and loud, but I'm closer to the ice and it's almost comical how I'm the only person in a Hawks jersey, surrounded by Rangers fans.

It's scoreless the first two periods, both teams managing to fight off the other team to keep the score at zero through the first forty. And then…the Blackhawks get a power play after one of the Rangers is called for holding, and Tobias manages to steal the puck and earn a breakaway, flying up the ice and I'm on my feet. I'm on my feet and my heart is racing as the other Blackhawks fans and the bench cheer him on. He winds up and then shoots the puck into the back of the net, the red light going on and he throws his arms up in the air as his teammates surround him in a group hug, patting his head.

There are groans from around me, but I'm screaming and clapping and can't stop smiling. No more goals are scored after that, the game ending with the Blackhawks winning 1-0 and the round goes back to Chicago.

Back in Chicago, there's a good three days before the (hopefully) last game, so while Tobias is resting and after I swing by work, I head to the new house to see how the construction is coming along. After going through the original plans of the house, I had a few things I had wanted to change – updating the kitchen so it was more modern, changing some of the carpeted floors to hardwood and getting rid of the wallpaper that the previous owners had decorated with. The house is empty, when I get there, the renovators done for the day so I walk around, careful not to touch any paint or tools. All our new furniture is in a storage unit, making the wait to move in so much harder.

Making my way upstairs, I stop by the soon-to-be guest room. It was originally supposed to be Christina's room, but she told me that Will had asked her to move in with him. I promised her that the room was still up for grabs if she ever needed to use it.

My parents were extremely happy about the house, since it was only a few blocks from them, and my Mom was especially happy to know that she'd have a room whenever she wanted to visit. Though, I didn't understand why she'd need a room if she were only a few blocks from us. But I didn't question it.

Back at the apartment, Tobias was in the living room with his laptop propped on his lap. He was scrolling through some website – a sports website – when I sit down next to him and he quickly shut the laptop before I can see much more.

"What was that?" I ask, confused.

He shakes his head. "Nothing, just…looking over my stats." He's a terrible liar.

I give him a look and shake my head. "No, you weren't." He would never look at his stats on a sports' website, he'd call his coach – and besides, he gets a daily report from him in writing.

"I was reading some of the comments about the last game and they weren't the best."

"But you scored the winning goal…" I remind him, trying to make him feel better.

He shakes his head again, rubbing his face with his hands. "That doesn't matter. Some of the fans aren't too happy with how little I've produced during the last few games." He places the laptop on the coffee table and leans forward, resting his elbows on the top of his knees.

I rub his back reassuringly. "Don't listen to them, Tobias. You've been amazing lately and their opinions don't matter. You have, hopefully, one game left and when you lift that cup up – they'll have nothing but great things to say about you."

Tobias turns to look at me, a smirk on his face. "You have too much confidence in me."

I roll my eyes. "And you don't have enough confidence in yourself. God, back in college you were so cocky about how good you were and now you're constantly putting yourself down. Stop it!"

"In my defense, I was the best on the team in college." He laughs and I laugh along with him, shaking my head.

He leans in and presses his lips against mine, placing his hands on either side of my face and holding me in place. I melt into the kiss, reveling in the feel of his lips against mine and how soft and warm they are and how the kiss sends volts of electricity through my veins and makes my stomach flutter.

He breaks the kiss, too soon, and stands up wearing a huge grin. Bending down, he easily lifts me over his shoulder and I squeal, slapping a hand over my mouth, stifling my giggles. He doesn't drop me until we're in the bedroom where he gently tosses me down onto the bed and I'm still laughing when he kisses me again, more heat behind this kiss.

The morning of the fourth game, I wake up to Tobias trying to slide out of the bed without waking me, trying to untangle my legs from his, but doing a terrible job of it.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He apologizes, standing up and pulling on his sweatpants. He bends down to give me a quick peck. "I need to get ready."

Today's game was a matinee – it started at three. Turning over to glance at the clock, it's almost ten-thirty. Tobias needs to be at the arena by twelve for a warm-up practice and then for a meeting with the team.

As he's getting ready, I make myself some breakfast and flick through the TV channels. My stomach is in knots, anxious for the game. I really hope that it's the last game today. Not only will he get the win, but he'll be done after that. No more traveling, no more practices or games for a good three months. We'll finally get to spend more time together and we can move into the new house and get settled in. I want to be normal for a bit.

Tobias leaves around eleven and Christina and Will arrive shortly after his departure. Will is carrying a pizza box and my stomach grumbles in appreciation – it's deep dish, my favorite.

We head to the United Center around one, meeting up with some of Will's friends in the parking lot where they're tailgating. We spend some time with them, enjoying some drinks, before heading into the arena and to our seats – we were in the box again, and while I was grateful for the seats, I still wanted to sit closer to the ice.

The United Center is loud, the sea of red, white, and black in front of me excited and some of them intoxicated enough to try and start the wave.

Christina brings me a drink and I give her a smile, thanking her, and focus back on the game that's less than five seconds away from starting. Everyone is in their position – Tobias at the center for the puck drop and as soon as it hits the ice, the crowd erupts into loud cheers as the Blackhawks manage to get control of the puck.

The first twenty minutes is entertaining, the Blackhawks score a goal which is quickly followed by a Rangers goal. The same thing happens fifteen minutes later, except the Rangers score first and the Blackhawks bounce back less than thirty seconds later. It's tied 2-2 by the end of the first period. I'm able to breathe during the intermission, forcing myself to eat some food because I know my anxiety will get the best of me tonight. The second period starts, and there are two players, one from each team, that look like they're arguing before the puck drops. As soon as the puck drops, the two have their gloves off and are fighting, the crowd jumping to their feet – Will cheers next to me – and then two more players are fighting on the ice. This time…Tobias is involved. My stomach clenches and I should put my drink down. I suddenly feel sick. I hold my breath as I focus on Tobias and his opponent, each gripping the other's jersey and Tobias gets in a few good hits and so does his opponent. Oh, man – his face is going to be marked up.

The refs let the two fights go on for a few seconds before they step in, ripping the men apart – teammates helping keep the men apart, pushing them towards the penalty boxes.

The game goes to 3-on-3 for the next five minutes and it's terrible for my anxiety. I focus on the game and then occasionally steal a look towards the penalty box where Tobias is sitting, his helmet off and wiping his face off with a towel. I can't see much, but I know that he must have some cuts or possible bruising – his opponent had been bigger than him.

Once the penalties are over, the players are all back on the ice and the game goes back to even strength 5-on-5. It's scoreless through the last few minutes of the second period.

But once the third period starts, the Blackhawks get a goal within thirty seconds, sending the entire crowd to their feet, towels swinging over their heads in celebration. We're up by one, but the team doesn't celebrate for long. They know that they still have awhile to go – nineteen minutes is enough to score another goal.

But the Rangers don't score – they look worn out and like they're running on nothing but steam. The Blackhawks don't look much better either, but they manage to pressure the Rangers and keep them away from scoring.

The crowd is on their feet for the last minute of the game, everyone cheering and watching the game, holding their breaths as the seconds ticked down. And then at five seconds, the arena broke out into a countdown…and then…

And then the clock hits zero, the game is over and the Blackhawks win. The Blackhawks' goalie throws his stick in the air, followed by his gloves as his team jumps off the bench and runs to crowd him, piling on top of him in a dog pile. Everyone in our suite is cheering and hugging. Christina is jumping up and down and we're screaming and cheering and I have tears in my eyes. Will is high-fiving the other people in the suite, cheering just as loudly as the crowd.

The Rangers head to their bench, sitting down and looking solemn and worn out, exhausted. I feel bad for a split second, but I'm too excited and happy for my team to care.

Somebody – the commissioner, I believe – brings out the Cup, multiple people carrying it with gloved hands, and set it on a red-clothed table. There are few people leaving the arena – Rangers' fans – but other than that, everybody is on their feet and clapping, cheering, whistling in celebration.

The Captain is the first to lift the cup, and he then chooses who to hand it off to. He holds it high over his head, cheering and skating in small circles as the crowd gets louder. And then he hands it off to Tobias – he looks surprised for a second before taking it and then lifting it.

I'm smiling from ear to ear, my chest swelling with pride and I want to go to him on the ice. I want to congregate him.

After each member of the team gets to lift the trophy, and both teams line up for a handshake, the crowd starts to leave to go and continue their celebration – there's going to be a parade in Chicago in a few weeks where they can celebrate more. The other people in our suite let us know that we can head down to meet the team on the ice and the only thing keeping me from running down is Christina gripping my hand tightly, probably knowing what I want to do.

I'm happy that I wore flat boots tonight, because the women wearing heels don't look comfortable enough to walk on the carpet that's laid over the ice for us. They stay by the benches.

The team is finishing their team photo when we arrive to the ice. I pick Tobias out from his jersey number and hurry over to him. He skates to where I'm standing on the carpet and lifts me up in a bone-crushing hug. I wrap my arms around the back of his neck tightly and press my lips to his. "I told you that you could do it." I smile and he laughs, kissing me again. He's sweaty and smells but I don't care. I don't care.

Some of his teammates make their way over to him, smiling at him holding me up like a child, and then clap him on the shoulder. They congratulate him and then give me a friendly smile before skating off to other teammates or people.

"You can put me down." I laugh, as he tries to acknowledge his coach while still holding me up. It's embarrassing at this point, honestly.

He shakes his head. "You're my luck charm, I'm not putting you down." I roll my eyes and he sets me on my feet on the carpet again. Christina and Will congratulate him, Will giving him a hug with a slap on the back.

After a little more celebration, the team heads to the locker room where they're more than likely going to chug beer from the cup – Will told me that it's something pretty much every team does.

It takes half an hour for Tobias to come back out, dressed in his suit again. I'm finally able to canvas him when he's out of his gear and I can see a cut above his eyebrow along with another one near his cheek. Other than that, he's not hurt.

He scoops me up again into another hug and I can smell beer on him and his hair is still sweaty. He presses his lips against mine, hungrily. Something stirs in my stomach and I feel my cheeks warm as I see the press near us, some of whom are watching us. "Let's go." He says, placing me back on my feet and taking my hand. He hands me his car keys, knowing he can't drive, and he holds my free hand on the drive back to his apartment.

He's radiating happiness and pure ecstasy – it's like a child that's locked into Disney World for the night.

When we get back to his apartment, he wastes no time in pulling me to him, my chest against his, as he backs me against the wall when the door shuts behind us. I giggle and then his lips are crushing mine, and then they're moving from my mouth to my chin and then my neck.

"I really…really hate to ruin this." I say, breathless, placing my hands on his shoulders to push him away. "But you really stink."

He laughs and steps back. He gives me a peck on the cheek and then heads into the bathroom to shower.

When he's done a few minutes later, I'm still standing in the living room, my hands shaking slightly as I cross my arms over my chest. "Are you okay?" He asks, worried. What is my face giving away?

"I have a question…"

Tobias looks at me, nervously and confused. "What's wrong?"

Taking a deep breath, I force myself to look up at him. To look at him in the face. "Do you…do you still have the ring that you gave me around Christmas?"

His face blanks and he gasps a little. "Are you serious?" His eyebrows shoot up in surprise and my stomach is still in knots. At least, until he smiles again and then he steps towards me, placing his hands on my hips. "Are you serious?" He asks again.

Nodding, I smile at him. "I am one-hundred percent sure."

"Is this just because I won the Stanley Cup?" He jokes, tilting his head to the side.

I laugh loudly. "Of course, that's the only reason I was ever with you." I shake my head and move my hands to rest on his biceps. "But in all seriousness, I told you I was all in. We're moving in together and I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

He's kissing me again, one hand cupping the back of my head and the other wrapped tightly around my waist. "I win the Stanley Cup and get to have you for the rest of my life. Nothing will ever beat today."

I laugh aloud, tossing my head back. "You're very dramatic." I say, smiling.

"It's true!" He presses his forehead to mine, all humor gone, his blue eyes deep and dark. "I love you so much, Tris."

Sighing, I close my eyes. "I love you, too." And then I kiss him and am relieved that the beer and sweat smell is gone from him.

He holds me tightly, the same bone-crushing hug as earlier, and I don't want him to pull away. I don't want him to let me go. And I don't have to. He's a champion, he's done for the season and we're going to move in together and get married. What happened in the past, happened. There's nothing either of us can do to change that. And while it still hurts me, even though I still have dreams about what it'd be like if we were a complete family, I'm happy. Tobias will be by my side and I have him to lean on when the pain gets to be too much at times.

He's mine, and only mine. And I am his.

* * *

 **And that's that! I'm sorry this chapter took so long to get up. I didn't expect it to be so long, but I'm sure nobody will complain about that. But yeah, this is the last chapter of this story! I'm so glad ya'll liked it and the comments and reviews really helped me! I appreciate it so much!**

 **Thank you!**


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